A Little League program teaching both the rules of baseball and fundamental school subjects. Little Ivy League teaches students/players to find the academic side of baseball. After three years of the program’s existence, there is now a waitlist. Teams include the Oxford Commas, Academics, and the Fly Beta Catchers. To quote the CEO of Little Ivy League, “We knew these children would do best learning the aerodynamics of the baseball before just randomly whacking it with a bat. And of course, we encourage our children NEVER to steal bases, but to ‘abscond’ and/or ‘pilfer’”
Mrs. Eloise Falsetto submitted her child into Little Ivy League so he could optimize his down time as a left fielder with a tutor. He is now top of the class, due to all the time properly spent learning since clearly those Little Leaguers can never hit the ball as far out as he was positioned.
by Professor Psuedonym November 14, 2023
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