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absolute mess

when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.

the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.
'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'
by jamiej13 May 28, 2014
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ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.
That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.
by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022
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absolutely wallpapered

Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee
“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee”
by Stayout February 27, 2019
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Absolutely Perfect

Hasan is the most absolutely perfect person to ever exist
by Cokenbaltorcher January 6, 2024
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absolute gamer

bruh moment. what an aboslute gamer
by guy next to me is low iq September 19, 2019
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absolute monkey

by Tc_goldie December 2, 2020
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Absolute unit

Someone who would make a great asset to a team because they are an awesome part by themselves. Like a space marine who has legendary qualities on their own but also work in a squad of other space marines. Also think about the movie Predator, that alien was from a planet of other predators that hunt together in the comics and was up against Arnie who was part of a commando squad out in the jungle but they went one to one which just goes to show what absolute units they are.
That guys an absolute unit, I want him on my team
by Jackiechanny October 2, 2023
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