When someone has an urge to have a form of sexual intercourse with a celeb who is normally older (by 40 years plus) or has a drug addiction, or if needs be plays the harmonica! They also have in their names... Alfie, Weller, Carl (Carlos) and Pete.
(e.g. "oh look their she is again the rapist of the stars humping him silly, poor poor Weller, will his heart hold on")
A regular genious. This guy is right on the level of Alphabean as far as English goes. He however has one flaw, and that flaw is that he and El Capitano Gatisto like to wear giant boots. ECG lives in a boot however, and JTTS just wears them.