by heluvlanna May 4, 2022
Get the akikiki mug.Corporate Aikido is the art of redirecting people who need help, instead of saying no, so you can get back to Minesweeper or, these days, Reddit. You use their energy against them, sending them off to accounting, answering their questions with a request for more information, etc. Corporate Aikido techniques and throws are best practiced in conference calls and meetings, where the unskilled opponent will appear to all to be combative and aggressive if he or she shows the slightest resistance to the Corporate Aikido movements.
How to use Corporate Aikido, by designbydave: "Yes, I am almost 100% sure what is wrong with your laptop, but I want you to go back and get more information for me, retrieve the appropriate power cables, software install discs etc so I don't have to work on it right this second, I'm currently reading a fascinating, 10 page article about a feral child that I found on reddit."
by knumbknuts September 6, 2013
Get the Corporate Aikido mug.A Japanese martial art started by Morihei Ueshiba. It is for self defense and can be translated as "the art of peace". This is not necessarily true. During WWII the allies invaded Japan and outlawed the practicing of any sort of military training. The ingenious teachers changed the fighting style to make it seem passive, allowing them to continue to teach and practice aikido. If you take it in a dojo they will teach you the soft version. However, their are still movies that will show you the darker side of this martial art. Even without being shown you can see that every move can be turned into a deadly retailation. Now a days they teach throws and how to basically drop you opponent/pin him/her into submission. It is still very painful and effective but can be deadly if you know what you are doing. Every grab or move can be adjusted to break the neck of your opponent or cause crippling/fatal damage.
Aikido is the most dangerous martial art out there. True masters are impossible to hit and the legendary Ueshiba was rumored to have been able to dodge bullets. Read about him or attend a seminar in a local dojo. You will think people are faking falling and such but if you try yourself you will see that they aren't.
by neomaverickninja May 18, 2005
Get the aikido mug.Doing some bull crap while on the job, that doesn't really qualify as actual work. Something to do to look busy when a boss comes around, but not exerting any energy or really doing anything that is productive.
Nick, "Shit man, we got a code 'I'!"
Vance, "Yo, I'm a tenth degree black belt in Work aikido. Watch me arrange the shit out of those batteries!"
Vance "faces" batteries, bringing them to the forward.
Working at Walgreens reading a magazine at the front cash register. Boss man comes up, and you "top" the cigarettes. That means you push them down so they are all as packed tight towards the bottom rack as possible. "Way to go Vance, really keeping that cig display good looking. Gold star material!"
Vance, "Yo, I'm a tenth degree black belt in Work aikido. Watch me arrange the shit out of those batteries!"
Vance "faces" batteries, bringing them to the forward.
Working at Walgreens reading a magazine at the front cash register. Boss man comes up, and you "top" the cigarettes. That means you push them down so they are all as packed tight towards the bottom rack as possible. "Way to go Vance, really keeping that cig display good looking. Gold star material!"
by VMoneyHos (V$) May 18, 2008
Get the Work aikido mug.Azimi usually means thistle flower or greatest.This is a Japanese name and Persian But It is a Unique name for Muslims.This usually describes a person or girl who is Very nice and Beautiful But Stubborn.Likes to make her own path.She's very fair Nice to those and mean those.And the dark part of her is that she's stubborn and also if u are the person she doesnt like she has reason.She's nice to those who she likes.
by By:That Person March 9, 2017
Get the azimi mug.She is a awesome girl to hang around with. When somebody make her mad she will try to leave to calm down. She is very athletic when is comes to basketball and others. Aziriah can be a pain in the butt sometimes when all she do is try to help others around. She is very out going and likes to have fun when she can. She is very fragile in the inside, but trys to be strong on the outside. She may say things that she'll regret or say thing that she don't mean and hurt people feelings around her. She's a awesome and funny friend to her best friends and family I would want to be her.
Aziriah is a funny girl.
by Cooly1 August 14, 2018
Get the Aziriah mug.Aziciv, who was banned on his main account and now uses Asicivalt writes mpreg and the creator of Aziverse
by BigDumbRocks September 5, 2022
Get the Aziciv mug.