fucked up like a snake in a lawn mower.

1. A degree of disorder, disarray, or confusion that is generally the result of either the long-term mismanagement of a process or the sudden, explosive collapse of a short-term project.
2. Advanced intoxication. Individual is minutes away from vomiting, blackout, arrest, or a beatdown. Generally used in West or Central Texas.

1.) J: "How bad was the condition of the jobsite you visited?"
D: "Man, they have got that place fucked up like a snake in a lawn mower."

2.) F: "That guy has been drinking all day."
L: "He's fucked up like a snake in a lawn mower."

by jcodya December 22, 2009

there’s a snake in my ass

FATHER OF LIES, CUM IN DISGUISE, YOUR SUM WONT LAST, THERES A SNAKE IN MY ASS, THE CUM FATHERS SECRET STASH, CUM STOMP ME FLAT, IM GOING TO FUK UR DAD

Hey there’s a snake in my ass and it hurts

by Hello I’m nsaidlgaiughdgggdgys September 13, 2021

lower than a snake's belly

A snake's belly slides right along the ground as low as any animal can get.

His reputation was lower than a snake's belly.

by Deborah Lee June 11, 2006

If it was a snake it would have bit you

When you’re looking for something and it was right next to you.

Invented by Dillan H circa 2017

Tyler: Have you seen my screwdriver?

Dillan: Yeah right there dumbass, if it was a snake it would have bit you

by daddy dumbbell October 7, 2020

Trying to Shave a Snake

A phrase coined by Demetri Martin.. It is used to describe a situation that doesn't work out well, just like shaving a snake. It's just not going to happen.

"You hear Jerry's trying to open that Frozen Yogurt business?"
"Good luck to him.. If you ask me, he's trying to shave a snake."

by JollyLama February 27, 2010

If It Were A Snake, It Would Have Bit Me

An idiom most often used in the Southern parts of the United States. Often heard when older men or women are searching in a general area, looking for a misplaced object. They search for a good while, only to find that the object was a few feet from them all the time. They pick it up, brush it off, grin and say:

"If it were a snake, it would have bit me."

This is because in the rural South snakes are a part of life. Everyone has at least one story about the time they were surprised by a rattler or a cottonmouth.

Guy 1: Where are my keys?
Guy 2: They are right in front of you on that table.
Guy 1: If it were a snake, it would have bit me.

by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ January 29, 2010

suck a snake

Sly term meant to say slurping on a meat pole.

Mom: Hey Jerry, can you take out the trash?
Jerry: No mom, go suck a snake

by BlackyChan69 June 5, 2016