Masturbating and shitting, preferably with runny consistency, simultaneously while lying in such a position that the feces trickles back over the penis, and runs off the penis onto the masturbator's face and mouth. The masturbator then ejaculates onto his face and mouth to conclude the act.
My girlfriend gets so horny when she watches me opening the yak.
My mom kicked me out of the house after she caught me opening the yak on her dining room table.
My mom kicked me out of the house after she caught me opening the yak on her dining room table.
by Yakkman November 4, 2009
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Created in 2010 by Jevastus Destinus, this "word" means someone that doesn't have the slightest fucking idea what they're talking about, but they're talking anyways.
Jevastus: Yo, you're a fag. I hope you knew that. :-)
Idiot: Umm.... no I didn't. But thanks anyways.
Jevastus: Yes you did, you fucking I-don't-have-the-slightest-fucking-idea-what-I'm-talking-about-but-I'm-opening-my-fucking-mouth-anyways-^_^ fag. :-)
Idiot: Umm.... no I didn't. But thanks anyways.
Jevastus: Yes you did, you fucking I-don't-have-the-slightest-fucking-idea-what-I'm-talking-about-but-I'm-opening-my-fucking-mouth-anyways-^_^ fag. :-)
by Jevastus Destinus January 19, 2011
Get the I-don't-have-the-slightest-fucking-idea-what-I'm-talking-about-but-I'm-opening-my-fucking-mouth-anyways-^_^ mug.Customer: Have you seen Dave, I need to grab something?
Stephen: He's busy opening a can, can I help you with something?
Stephen: He's busy opening a can, can I help you with something?
by David Andersen December 3, 2007
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Get the Hood Opening mug.A chess opening using by noobs/newbs etc who think they know how to play the game, but actually lack the fundemental understanding and intelligence necessary for chess. The opening consists of:
1. e4 e5
2. Qh5 ...
At which poing if White is allowed to take the Black e5 pawn with the Q it is a very strong position for him, especially as it comes with Check. This is known as the Noob Opening position. However, Black simply plays:
...Nc6
to guard the pawn. The typical noob will then play:
3. Bc4
With a threat of check mate with Qxf7. However, Black then plays:
...g6
After which the noob will play:
4. Qf3
This is the Uber-Noob's Opening position. After Black's next move of:
...Nf6
White's "attack" is over and Black has an enormous lead in development.
So in summary, the noob believes he is going to get a fast check-mate with Qxf7, but any black player worth their while will quicky avoid this and gain an enormous lead in piece development and in most cases will force the White Q all the way back to its starting square: hence a complete waste of time.
1. e4 e5
2. Qh5 ...
At which poing if White is allowed to take the Black e5 pawn with the Q it is a very strong position for him, especially as it comes with Check. This is known as the Noob Opening position. However, Black simply plays:
...Nc6
to guard the pawn. The typical noob will then play:
3. Bc4
With a threat of check mate with Qxf7. However, Black then plays:
...g6
After which the noob will play:
4. Qf3
This is the Uber-Noob's Opening position. After Black's next move of:
...Nf6
White's "attack" is over and Black has an enormous lead in development.
So in summary, the noob believes he is going to get a fast check-mate with Qxf7, but any black player worth their while will quicky avoid this and gain an enormous lead in piece development and in most cases will force the White Q all the way back to its starting square: hence a complete waste of time.
The Noob's Opening is typically played by gobby teenage chess players who will talk trash during the game to try and distract the other player.
by BoomBox ChavCar October 4, 2009
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