Mother-in-law's Contracture

When a person's lips grant a facial expression of sadness when at rest or even when expressing joy. The lips fail to reach a horizontal orientation even when the person is attempting to smile.

Husband: Your mother looks looks so pissed off right now.

Wife: Nope, she is smiling.
Husband: Yeah, but she has a huge frown; it looks like an upside down U, like the old dude in Up.
Wife: Oh, that's because hse has the mother-in-law's contracture.

by MILFwithMILcontracture January 11, 2011

Mother-in-law Ticker

The "ticker" to the upper right corner of your Face Book screen that screams out every move you make to the whole Face Book world is known as the Mother-in-Law-Ticker. It scrolls your every move to those who know you and those you don't. Some people love it but most people hate it. It is called the MIL- Ticker because of it's striking similarity to the stereotypical Mother-In-Law (nosy, loud and rude).

"The Mother-in-Law Ticker robs me of any privacy I thought I had."

or
"I love the Mother-in-Law Ticker because I am a voyeur."

or

"The Mother-in-Law Ticker on Face Book is so annoying."
or
"With the Mother-in-Law Ticker, you can see what everyone is doing at any moment of the day."

by BigMonky Monk December 6, 2011

mother in law trap

A trap set by a mother in law whose child has moved away, mostly out of state. The mother makes grandiose promises in the hopes that it will lure the couple back home.

"Her mom said if we move back from CA that we will be able to get well paying jobs with Mr. Snidesworth at the laboratory."
"Be careful bro, it could be a mother in law trap."

by OneToothWillis June 1, 2018

mother in law bar

The bar on corvettes and other known fast cars on the passengers side dash where they can grab on a hope for the best.

she was like damn wtf are you *grabs mother inlaw bar* slow the f*** down

by septh August 16, 2005

Mother in Law Cocktail

A large highball glass with one
Large ice cube and at least four fingers of your favorite liquor, usually consumed in multiples of 2.-

Mother in Law Cocktail: “Got to grab a handle of vodka so I can have a couple
Mother in-laws when I get home so I can have dinner with
My mother in law who lives in my
Basement”

by schnock123 October 3, 2018

Massachusetts mother in law

A Massachusetts mother in law is a woman who portrays herself as caring loving mother to her ( momma's boy) son . Don't be deceived , she will not look at you as a new daughter , but as fierce competition . Extreme jealousy will come into play , and you , your marriage , and children will become a target to her vicious games . Women in Massachusetts , who become mothers , are neglectful to the children they bring into the world. Not giving of themselves , to truly understand what unconditional love for a child is . This mother always put her needs , before her children's needs , and that is why she becomes a monster when a daughter in law comes into the picture . Instead of being happy that her son married a woman who truly loves him , gave her grandchildren , keeps a great house , is always faithful , moves away from her own family to be a part of his , this woman flies into a jealous rage , thinks you are trying to outdo her as a mother and wife . This is where the evil in her appears . She will do what ever it takes to make you look bad . After spreading lies about you ,and your children , she thinks this will make her look like a better wife and mother than you . After emotionally wrecking you and your marriage ,shes off to ruin more lives , with her younger sons . Always keep your guard up , and take notes ,you never know when you might need them for court .

"But ma ,how could you say that about my wife , your the one who cheated on dad ,and left me alone at home,dirty andstarving , while you got your hair and nails did "!!! the poor son said to the "Massachusetts mother in law"..

by NEhater January 8, 2014

Ur mother-in-law fucked ur Papaw

The worst insult possible in the entirety of the English language, ur mom gay, ur dad lesbian, and ur granny tranny dwarf in comparison.

1:ur mom gay

2:well ur dad lesbian

1:no u

2:well ur granny tranny

1:then ur grandpap a trap

2:well ur mother-in-law fucked ur papaw
1: *explodes into dust, immediately in hell*

by milkchocolate10291 March 14, 2018