Jesus

The Son of God, The Lion of Judah, The Prince of Peace, True Vine, The Way, The Truth, The Light, The Door, The Savior of Mankind.
I love Jesus Christ the Son of God!!!
by The Josh September 22, 2004
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Jesus

Amazing guy, who I love with everything I have. He's Sexy in everyway possible! &&Yes, he means everything to me. I love him more than I love Fried Chicken! :D &Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him. Jesus, you're my everything, my entire universe, &&I don't ever wanna lose you. I love you<3 &&I always will
Jesus is just wow amazing!
by xprettygirlrockx April 11, 2011
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Jesus

A manifestation in literature of the lessons taught by a people in which admiration was given to a pleasant and ethical social presence. Similar to Aesop's Fables, which was a collection of moral stories in Greek times.
"If you have money, don't lend it at interest. Give it to someone who won't be able to return it." - Jesus
"Treat others the way you would like them to treat you." - Jesus
by Nibbins July 22, 2008
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Jesus

1) N. A mythical creature invented to control the weak. See, boogie man.

2) E. Something you scream when you hit your thumb with a hammer.

3) A hispanic man.
Jesus H. Christ! Jesus stole Jesus' donation box!
by ArtieLange'sRottenLiver November 08, 2007
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jesus

the only perfect man to ever walk the face of this earth and give hope a definition
Luke 8:28
When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "what do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you don't torture me!"

Jesus, Son of God
by Wheels July 15, 2005
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jesus

A word impossible to define, Greater than any possible definition.
by zedo August 14, 2006
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Jesus

The protagonist in the second half of best selling fiction novel The Bible written by the award winning author God (a.k.a Boss Mann). During Jesus' journeys, he encountered many challenging tasks, such as turning water into wine, and walking on water. Jesus had to use his cunning and wit to overcome these seemingly impossible tasks. Jesus' life came to a sudden stop when his own people nailed him to a cross. The ending took many God's fans by surprise, as it was unlike him to kill off the main character. God argued that it added emotion to the story. However, the fans were not pleased, so God re-wrote the ending, with Jesus coming back to life to tell everyone it was all gonna be OK. The fans seemed contented. Jesus did not appear in any more of God's hit novels, though in an interview for Time Magazine, God revealed:

"Oh that wasn't the last we'll be seeing of the rebellious rapscallion" *chuckles*

Due to some name and copyright claims, the writing credit was taken from God and given to a group of Jews who claimed they knew a guy called Jesus. This was later found out to be a scam, and the four friends heavily altered the chapters. But God merely laughed and said

"Why not? It's not like people are going to take the book seriously anyway"
Chapter 17: The Reawakening

"Jesus sat up on the rock, feeling a bad bump on his head, and a sharp pain in his wrists and torso. It was dark, and he could feel the damp, heavy air around him. He suddenly remembered everything. He swore loudly, before taking a swig from his hip flask. He considered revenge, but reconsidered. He looked at his Rolex. It was only Saturday. He decided to go back to sleep for a while..."
by vision711 August 13, 2009
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