The second coming of Jesus Christ

Someone that can turn their poop into wine.

Random guy: "I'm the second coming of Jesus Christ."

Eric Andre: " PROVE IT. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE- TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE-"

by L. Ron Hoyabembe May 12, 2021

let Jesus out of the capsule

The act of performing much needed bowel movements to alleviate the buildup of fecile matter. The pressure differential after the act results in a heavenly feeling with minimal flatulence.

I'm sorry I made us miss our flight, but that was the first time let Jesus out of the capsule in three days and I was enjoying every second of it.

by SatelliteDaddy June 2, 2010

Can I get a Slap of Grease in the name of jesus?

Give me some food. Usually one says this when they're waiting on line for lunch.

I was on a line in the mess hall at rikers and an inmate standing a few feet from me said "can I get a slap of grease in the name of jesus?".

by metaphoricals June 14, 2010

the Jesus Triphecta

another word for the Holy Trinity(the father,son,and holy spirit) when reffering to Roman Catholic belif.

Jimmy: What's your stand on Christianity?

Paul: I believe in the Jesus Triphecta shit, but I think the rest is pure bullshit.

by Mario B. April 28, 2008

the jesus jog

An alternative name for a festive jog in December if you really want to piss off some atheists or others who don't believe in Jesus.

Kid: Should we name our race the Hanukkah Hustle?

Teacher: No that would be like calling it The Jesus Jog.

by GrainTrain November 26, 2017

The Baby-Jesus Effect

When your mates are losing so hard in trivia you do a shoey with sardines and beer to get back up to scratch

Cheers youngy

Boys were getting fucked up so I had to pull out The Baby-Jesus Effect

by The Cousins March 8, 2017

Jesus Christ up the asshole

Someone so religious that they would take Jesus' dick up the asshole if the bible said so.

Dude your girlfriend would take Jesus Christ up the asshole before you.

by John OHHH YEAH January 25, 2009