You get undressed and you squat into a pie, of any variety, and rub your ass against the pie while crying.
Jim: Last night I logged onto a webcam show where this dude was performing a Hoboken squat cobbler.
Nancy: Sick! Those shows make me not want to taste pie ever again!
Nancy: Sick! Those shows make me not want to taste pie ever again!
by GrandeAngus February 28, 2016
A vile sexual act where you take a dump on the floor and smear your buttocks on the steaming pile of fecal matter before sitting on your partner's face.
by Poon Assassin01 April 08, 2022
A legand in Harrison high school new jersey. mostly known as a girl who's face contains much pubic hair, and has severe herpies sores and hemeroids of the mouth and/or asshole. bears a striking resemblence to a wet sewre rat or monkey hence the name, she will gobble your penis with her fingers or dirty moneky claws that have been dipped in her anus and many of her victoms anuses for years. Mostly seen wearing overalls, barefoot, and climbing trees. Signs of this beast approaching: a foul oder, vommitting, chronic Diahhrrea. it learks behind quick check inn the crown bank dumpster.
HOLY SHIT!!! I HAVE DIAHHREA!!! IT MUST BE THE HOBOKEN HAIRY MONKEY MONSTER!!! Quick, throw a crack covered dounut at that bitch! Quickly, throw a comb nd purple hair extensions and pubes!!
by Darius, Iago, Jessie June 11, 2008
The Hoboken slide is a sex move that involves inserting one or both fingers into a woman's vagina while simultaneously sliding them up and down her walls, causing friction and stimulation. It can be done with either hand, but many men prefer using their dominant hand to give it a firmer grip on the woman's vulva. The name comes from the feeling of slipping on ice, which is what it feels like when you do this move. To perform the Hoboken slide, first insert your finger(s) into the woman's vagina and hold onto them with your thumb and forefinger. Then, slowly slide your fingers up and down the walls of her vagina, creating a sensation similar to rubbing ice cubes against your skin. You can also vary the speed and pressure of the movement to create different levels of stimulation. This move is particularly effective during foreplay or when a woman needs extra stimulation to reach orgasm.
This girl I know wants the Hoboken slide.
by MOOSE0508 July 02, 2024
A fetish where a man sits in a pie and wiggles around for his partners enjoyment. Crying may be involved (a cry baby squat). Also known as Dutch Apple Ass, Full Moon Pie and Boston Creme Splat. Origin: Bob Odenkirk as 'Jimmy McGill' in "Better Call Saul" (TV Show, 2016) Season 2, Episode 2.
by Bazinga_Punk_NJ February 24, 2016
A fetish involving watching someone sitting their posterior into a pie (preferably apple or pumpkin, but this is up to the fetishist) and wiggling said buttocks around in the aforementioned dessert
Jimmy: Yo, did you catch that Hoboken Squat Cobbler video on the Tube?
Chuck: Yeah man, got me rock hard
Chuck: Yeah man, got me rock hard
by cellophanefriend February 23, 2016
When a fully clothed person sits in a pie (or other cake like pastry) and commences to weep like a little girl. Squat Cobblering is usually engaged in by ugly, bald, middle aged men, who usually have some form of what appears to be mild autism. Said mild autism may manifest itself in an childlike, irrational and downright creepy obsession with baseball cards.
Did you see the back of his pants? He either crapped'em, or Hoboken Squat Cobbler'd a chocolate cake.
by Bob Barr 123 February 26, 2016