The physical hardware designed to operate reliably under the extreme conditions required for relativistic computing. These aren't just silicon in a fancy box; they must be engineered to withstand incredible gravitational tidal forces, acceleration stresses, and the bizarre energy environments near massive objects. Their architecture might use light-based processors to avoid issues with electron flow under relativistic conditions, and they require paradox-proof communication systems to send data back to a slower-timed frame without losing sync.
*Example: "My new gaming rig is a relativistic computer. I had it installed on a drone ship doing a continuous 0.5c boost-brake loop. In-game latency is zero, because by the time my input reaches it, the entire next frame is already calculated. The electricity bill is mostly rocket fuel."* Relativistic Computers
by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026
Get the Relativistic Computers mug.by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 26, 2025
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A computer whiz is a person who is an expert with technology, and can often blow some people's minds with their capabilities.
by Bigdirtyjoe May 24, 2019
Get the Computer Whiz mug.Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.
Characteristics of a school computer:
-Trash hardware
-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.
-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.
-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's
-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works
-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself
Characteristics of a school computer:
-Trash hardware
-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.
-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.
-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's
-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works
-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself
Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.
by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018
Get the School Computer mug.Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer
by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018
Get the old computer mug.Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.
Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"
by Rockabee September 10, 2014
Get the computer dick mug.One who lacks proficiency and competence within the field of computers to the extent at which he or she is an annoyance to others. A computard is prone to asking inane questions requiring one to break an explanation down to mere two word steps consiting of one verb and one noun (i.e. move mouse, click icon, etc).
Dude, this one computard once asked me how to extract a zip file and I was like "Dude download WinRAR" and he was like "how do I download" and I was like "WTF dude".
by Vishal Agarwala July 6, 2004
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