Skip to main content

Texas mars bar 

A cunning sexual act where a sexual partner defecates into your foreskin, performs oral sex while eating and cleaning your penis
Whoa man, met this crazy girl last night, I asked her what the craziest thing she did and she told me she did the Texas mars bar
Texas mars bar by Mr mars bar March 4, 2019

Deep fried Mars Bar 

(n.) A disgusting looking, savoury from the North of the UK. Involves a glazed chocolate product being fried in batter for all of three minutes, before being pulled out looking like it could be served with chips. Allow to dry before eating.
To the "kill meat-eaters" guy: Did you know that mars cars contain animal lipids? If you eat it, you eat animal. Haha!

Middle Eastern Mars Bar 

A sex act involving meticulous preparation whereby a male (or female with penis) shaves his testicles, gooch and head and proceeds to store the shaven hair. Step two requires minor culinary skills in that a couple of Mars Bars must be heated in a pan and brought to highly viscous (thick), yet fluid, syrup. The newly created concoction (after cooling to a lukewarm temperature) is then carefully lathered onto the perpetrator’s earlier prepared erected penis and testicles. All the shaven hair is generously applied to the chocolate-coated trouser snake until it is completely covered to create an ‘ewok-type’ appeal. The final, and crucial, step is to coax a female to initiate the art of felatio on you and, in a jack-in-the-box-style maneuver, reveal your Middle Eastern Mars Bar.

*NB: It should be noted the Mars Bar syrup possesses both a practical and aesthetic qualities:
Practical – to allow the hair to stick;
Aesthetic – to act as a dark background to the hair
"She was coughing up chocolate fur balls for weeks after I gave her the Middle Eastern Mars Bar at Stylzie's place after Dirty Thursday"

Shomer -ne- Mars Bar

this fine phrase is used as a modern day equivalent of 'less is more' in regards to partners
shomer, meaning to guard in hebrew, and mars bar, in direct reference to a well known nougaty chocolatey treat combine in this well known phrase as a means of refraining from physical contact with the opposite sex.
whilst its ancient origins are some what unknown today,it is believed that its original roots are based on a scale of sickness.
one mars bar= perfect. its really nice innit?
two=umm feeling a bit sick now
three= i really dont want another mars bar
four= ewww get it away from me
..... etc

upto 23 mars bars= the mars bars gang up and kill you.

it is therefore wholly reasonable to draw a conclusion that one mars bar, that special mars bar is best for all involved.
dalia:you just annihilated that clay pigeon,high five shlodawgg!
emily: noooo you cant hes Shomer -ne- Mars Bar.
dalia: oh so sorry.

emily: i just dropped my favourite toothbrush off the side of the empire state building. can i have a hug?
Shleminem: no im Shomer -ne- Mars Bars.

Middle Eastern Mars Bar 

A sex act involving meticulous preparation whereby a male (or female with penis) shaves his testicles, gooch and head and proceeds to store the shaven hair. Step two requires minor culinary skills in that a couple of Mars Bars must be heated in a pan and brought to highly viscous (thick), yet fluid, syrup. The newly created concoction (after cooling to a lukewarm temperature) is then carefully lathered onto the perpetrator’s earlier prepared erected penis and testicles. All the shaven hair is generously applied to the chocolate-coated trouser snake until it is completely covered to create an ‘ewok-type’ appeal. The final, and crucial, step is to coax a female to initiate the art of felatio on you and, in a jack-in-the-box-style maneuver, reveal your Middle Eastern Mars Bar.

*NB: It should be noted the Mars Bar syrup possesses both practical and aesthetic qualities:
Practical - to allow the hair to stick;
Aesthetic - to act as a dark background to the hair
"She was coughing up chocolate fur balls for weeks after I gave her the Middle Eastern Mars Bar at Stylzie's place after Dirty Thursdays"
Middle Eastern Mars Bar by GTD July 30, 2008

wash your mars bar 

Another way of saying "Are you joking?!"
Guy 1 "I shagged her last night!"

Guy 2 "Wash your mars bar!

Or,

"Your washing my mars bar!"
wash your mars bar by Immi June 30, 2006