Alarm Clock Pizza

When you get really drunk and order a pizza online after the store has closed. You forget that you ordered a pizza because you were drunk and there is a pizza in the stores queue in the morning. They proceed to deliver the pizza when they reopen in the morning. You hear a knock on your door while you are sleeping and in the doorway stands the pizza man who just served as your alarm clock.

**Knock Knock**
Ben (answers door): Damnit Blake! did you order a pizza last night?
Blake: I don't think so, we were pretty drunk though let me check my app.
Blake: Ah shit, looks like I ordered a pizza at 3:30am last night.
Ben: Classic, another alarm clock pizza.

by pussylicker12 October 19, 2016

Alarm Clock

A homemade bomb; specifically one with a timer.

Better get outta here soon, the alarm clock is gonna go off!

by All Mighty Allah November 9, 2016

Military Alarm Clock

Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.

#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.

by bossofpiza November 22, 2016

faulty fire alarm

It's when you start climaxing but stops because you realise its not real cum but just piss

"Oh God here I come"- Matty B
"OH never mind it's a faulty fire alarm"-Miles

by ;okj;o ;oj ;okj December 13, 2016

Alarm Cock

Waking up your significant other by having sex with them.

Erin was fast asleep when she felt the alarm cock go off at 8am sharp

by Quaxo March 17, 2016

Alarm Cock

A typical alarm clock with a slight surprise. When the alarm cock goes off a slightly limp dildo is smacked into your forehead violently. Usually leaving a slight veiny imprint or possibly a bruise depending on your model of the alarm cock.

Tiffany: "Whats that oddly veiny bruise on your forehead, Bruce?"
Bruce: "Oh that? I got the new Alarm Cock 3000."
Tiffany: "Damn I should upgrade mine, I have last years model."

by Blackfat August 17, 2018

Ostrich alarm clock

when the alarm goes off, it’s ostrich time.

hey is it ostrich time yet?

nope, my ostrich alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet.

by ostrichforthewin February 6, 2019