phantom fifes

a phenomena that usually occurs after one returns from a long weekend filled with fife and drum music, and though there aren't any fifes for miles, you can still hear them in your head. The same applies for drums.

After returning from the Deep River Ancient Muster, all I could hear were phantom fifes.

by hoorayforthefish July 2, 2011

Phantom Pooper

An individual who takes a dump in a public restroom without flushing, usually in their place of employment or a place where they regularly poop. Generally, the phantom pooper abides by a set of ground rules:

1. Leave a phantom poop only if the restroom is empty so as to secure your anonymity. If another person enters the restroom while you are on the toilet, simply poop and wipe/flush as usual.

2. Throw no toilet paper in the toilet. This will allow you to show off your brown creation in its full glory, as well as leave the person who finds the phantom poop to think "Wow, no toilet paper, this must have been a ghost!"

3. Leave a phantom poop daily, ideally in the same stall at the same time. This will ensure general chaos and distrust in the workplace.

A phantom pooper began work at Jame's office, creating chaos and distrust among his co-workers. Eventually they had to install sensor flushers in the toilets to foil the phantom pooper.

by Cornyhotdogs October 15, 2017

Phantom Chat

On facebook,when someone deletes themselves from your page leaving one sided conversations like you're fucking talking to yourself.

I'd better delete my comments,asshole deleted themselves now it looks like I'm having a Phantom Chat.

by JoeNJ2 March 1, 2015

brown phantom

A fart left in an empty room when company is visiting. The fart is dropped off and abandoned like a baby on a doorstep. Unlucky persons who happen into it often say "oh god!" and cover their mouth and nose as the unexpected smell haunts them to their very souls. Quickly closed doors and a small space inside can keep a room brown and haunted for a very long time.

Sam's party was great, but I found a brown phantom in his office.

by BigLud May 23, 2014

Phantom Wanker

A person who masturbates in the room as soon as his roommate leaves, leaving behind no evidence of his deed unless the unfortunate roommate returns too quickly.

Guy 1: Does your room mate have a girlfriend?
Guy 2: No, but I think he's a phantom wanker

by HankyPanky4255 November 1, 2011

phantom bruise

The uncanny phenomenon of unexplained bruises found on the body.

"Hey Jim, what's that bruise from?"
"It's a phantom bruise; noticed it yesterday."

by manic depresso May 9, 2018

phantom shart

The act of farting hard enough to make you think you shit yourself, but when you go to check your pants, they are skid-free.

Friend 1: "Phew! Thank god I went and checked, I could have sworn I sharted myself!"
Friend 2: "ah, you've experienced the rare phantom shart, I see?"
Friend 1: "...I think we should see other people."

by Yikes__ June 4, 2021