Empty Promise

Eating while defecating, particularly when planned and intentional

“Did you make a bowl of cereal before you went to poop?”
“Yeah, just a quick Empty Promise”

by PercyP September 24, 2018

empty batting average

A baseball player who routinely hits for a high batting average but has limited power and patience, thus his OBP and SLG rates would more commonly be attached to batting averages significantly lower than his.

A lack of speed is part of this as well, but since stolen bases are not counted as part of SLG or any other stat other than stolen bases, said players that steal a lot would appear to have empty averages at first glance.

Despite winning the 2006 batting title, Freddy Sanchez walked just 31 times and hit only 11 home runs. His OPS that year was just .851. He also only stole 3 bases. He is the empty batting average poster man.

Juan Pierre's career .710 OPS with a .297 batting average would put him up here, but it wouldn't be as glaringly obvious if his stolen bases were accounted for.

by Downvoting Victim August 28, 2011

Emphysema Bend

The infamous "bend" to a cigarette; typically used by incoherent white trash and scourges.

The hick handed me a cigarette that was bent in 2 different places, it had the emphysema bend.

by brupp December 4, 2017

Emphysemen

The condition that causes semen to dry up and harden before it exits the penis. It can be contracted as an STD or develop naturally. It can be alleviated by either pouring water into the penis or by removing the shaft and slowly forcing the harder semen out of the end, and reattaching it. There is no cure. The ancient Incas used the substance produced in emphysemen as mortar for their structures.

Marvin contracted emphysemen from a dead hooker on the street corner.

by idot7 June 16, 2021

emphoracle

1) n: One who is emphoric.
2) n: One who sees the future by shmagoiganning a person in order to gain access to their emphoric powers. See also shmagoigan
3) Adj: The state of emphoricness.
4) n: One who can summon fetusses to do his/her bidding.
5) Adj: Fetus-like.
6) Adv: Of forming and throwing fecal matter as ninja stars.
7) V: Throwing crap like a hippo.

1) You are emphoric!
2) I went to see the emphoracle.
3) You are emphoric!!! Woot!
4) FETUS I SUMMON YOU!!! DO MY BIDDING!!
5) You emphoric fetus.
6) I am emphoracley emphoracleizing you.
7) I Emphoracling you!

by Eric September 28, 2004

emphutae

Emphutae is a code word for going poop or crap. However, it is most often used in association with 'diahrea' or bad indegestion.

(Em FOO Tay)

"Oh man, I just had to emphutae, I feel so much better now"

(Pointing at toilet) "Emphutae!"

"Go ahead, I don't give an emphutae!"

by Melon Child April 21, 2008

empty to the depot

Exhausted, depleted, unable or unwilling to continue, for example at the end of a night or your life. From what they call trains which are returning to a depot without unloading passengers at the end of the night.

"Fancy another drink?" "No I've had enough, I'm empty to the depot"
"Hey wife let's have another baby" "No thanks I already have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve, I'm empty to the depot"

by threebythree February 27, 2009