phantom fifes

a phenomena that usually occurs after one returns from a long weekend filled with fife and drum music, and though there aren't any fifes for miles, you can still hear them in your head. The same applies for drums.

After returning from the Deep River Ancient Muster, all I could hear were phantom fifes.

by hoorayforthefish July 2, 2011

Phantom Pooper

An individual who takes a dump in a public restroom without flushing, usually in their place of employment or a place where they regularly poop. Generally, the phantom pooper abides by a set of ground rules:

1. Leave a phantom poop only if the restroom is empty so as to secure your anonymity. If another person enters the restroom while you are on the toilet, simply poop and wipe/flush as usual.

2. Throw no toilet paper in the toilet. This will allow you to show off your brown creation in its full glory, as well as leave the person who finds the phantom poop to think "Wow, no toilet paper, this must have been a ghost!"

3. Leave a phantom poop daily, ideally in the same stall at the same time. This will ensure general chaos and distrust in the workplace.

A phantom pooper began work at Jame's office, creating chaos and distrust among his co-workers. Eventually they had to install sensor flushers in the toilets to foil the phantom pooper.

by Cornyhotdogs October 15, 2017

PHantom Logger

An unknown person who purposely leaves large turds in the toilet without toilet paper indicating wiping of the anus. The goal is to horrify and repulse the person that finds the unflushed logs and has to flush them.

The phantom logger has struck again, I just found a massive log in the mens bathroom. The dirty fucker doesn't even wipe.

by James OQueefe July 5, 2018

Phantom Cold

When you had the flu or the cold and you recover from it, but still have a buildup of phlegm and mucus in your throat which makes you cough up into someones face. Then they somehow get sick even though you are no longer contagious and they blame it on you.

I am innocent and your accusations are bullshit, it's just a Phantom Cold for fucks sake!

by Miraku, The Alter Ego November 23, 2019

Phantom scruncher

An apple scruncher who is illusive and gets away with it-phantom scruncher

Phantom scruncher

by Juulman May 23, 2019

phantom feces

Phantom feces is when you have to hold your poop for a long time because there is no place to go. But by the time you get to a toilet the poop is no longer there. It is a fantom feces.

"I have to poop so bad."
"Hold on dude, we will be home soon."

20 minutes later arriving at home, "you can go poop now."
"Oh I don't have to go anymore, it was phantom feces."

by StinkyTacoKisses December 2, 2017

Phantom hangover

A hangover that is caused by the body being conditioned to consumption of alcohol, and triggered by memory/repetition.

If every Friday you get drunk, and have a hangover every Saturday as a result, your body becomes conditioned to feeling hungover upon waking up every Saturday.

If one friday you do not drink, but wake up feeling hungover anyway, due to your body just plain being used to the routine, you are the victim of a phantom hangover.

***Not an official medical condition, but it happens.

"You look like you had some fun last night."

"No, I didn't drink at all, but I got a phantom hangover!"

by BeppoMonger January 25, 2016