Fart Fact 6

If you think you fart a lot, guess again, you probably don't fart as much as you think you do. Often, people go to their doctor complaining of having too much gas, but chances are, they are just imagining it. These people are usually told to go home and keep a record of when they fart. Gastroenterologist Dr Michael Levitt found that most of these people fall within the normal range of farts per day (see fart fact 5) and merely need to be shown that they are normal.

“Malcolm’s letting rip again, one of the exceptions to fart fact 6.”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 1

Over 99% of the gases in a fart don’t smell! This is because a fart is mostly oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. Nitrogen is not produced in the gut, but comes from the air we breathe.

“Malcolm’s just let go a right stinker!”
“Yeah, he’s the living antithesis of Fart Fact 1.”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 2

Only 1% of your fart actually smells! Even that little SBD you sneaked out that had everyone in the room wondering if the sewage works had broken down, even that was 99% of that was odourless gases like carbon dioxide, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane. The 1% that smells is hydrogen sulphide and when you consider just how bad farts can smell it should come as no surprise that hydrogen sulphide is poisonous. It was even considered as a poison gas during WW1 but was too easily detected (the smell, of course).

“Malcolm’s just caused a major pollution event.”
“Let another one go has he?”
“He must be producing more than 1%, it’s contradicting Fart Fact 2!”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 9

Farts travel quite quickly at around 3.05 meters per second, which is roughly 7 miles per hour, which is faster than your average jogger who moves at about 6 miles per hour.

“If you are jogging and you fart will it overtake you?”
“Yes, Fart Fact 9!”

by AKACroatalin October 29, 2019

shit-fart separator

The shit-fart separator (AKA shitfart separator) is the muscle inside your colon, just above your bunghole, that is responsible for separating shits from farts. Usually a dormant muscle, the shit-fart separator is often only noticed if it's repeatedly squeezing and churning when one has diarrhea. The work of a healthy shit-fart separator usually results in dry farts.

I had bad diarrhea, and my shit-fart separator was in overdrive.

My shit-fart separator failed me and I accidentally sharted a little in my underwear.

by Flambo Blumpkin February 14, 2008

MIXED MARTIAL FARTS

THE WINNING MOVE IN A CAGE FIGHT ITS WHEN THEY ARE IN ONE OF THEIR SWEAT COVERED CRAPPLING MOVES ROLLING AROUND LIKE TWO QUERRS TRYING TO FIND A HOLE TO FUCK AND AT JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT ALMOST NINJA LIKE ONE OF THEM FARTS MAKING THEIR RIVAL PASS OUT DUE TO LACK OF OXYGEN THATS WHAT MIXED MARTIAL FARTS IS A TRUE SPORT FOR THE BRAIN DEAD

MAN DID YOU SEE THAT DOUBLE FIST AND THAT CHOKE THE CHICKEN MOVE HE USED FOLLOWED BY A HOT RECTAL BLAST TO THE FACE NOW THATS TRUE TALENT I LOVE WATCHN MIXED MARTIAL FARTS ITS A GAS

by SHANNON MOTOWAKAN October 22, 2011

All fart no shit

If someone talks a good talk but never comes through, they are all fart no shit.

My mate promised me tickets for that gig tonight but he failed again as always, he's all fart no shit.

by Kev von rev the punk rock jock May 12, 2009