Wank balance

The level of jizz in the male sexual organs, for example if you haven't had a wank for a week you have a healthy wank balance, if you wank 8 times a day then your overdrawn

I need to refuel the tank - my wank balance is running low after this mornings work out

by sharkfest August 1, 2016

wank slacks

A pair of trousers (usually an old pair of jogging bottoms with an elastic waistband) in which a male can comfortably masturbate whilst wearing, thus creating warmth on a cold night without the need for a duvet or blanket.

Called fap slacks across the Atlantic.

"I see mikes got his wank slacks on, guess we know what he'll be doing later!"

by 240490 September 21, 2012

Wank-ake

When someone wakes up with a stiffy and decides to make pancakes while at the same time wanking and as a result some of the ejaculation gets into the pancake batter but not enough to stop said person from continuing to make said pancake. The resulting breakfast food is a Wank-ake!

Roommate A:Hey man, I made breakfast you want some?

Roommate B:Sure, what'd you make?

Roommate A:Wank-akes!

Roommate B:Wait, WHAT?!?

Roommate A:I said Pancakes, man seriously, you want some or not?

by Defiantzel June 14, 2010

Wank Lag

A South West London term used to describe the feeling of exhaustion after an intense masturbation session.

'What did you get up to last night?'
'Spent the evening on the sofa watching TV 'cos I had a severe case of Wank Lag after being on Red Tube too long!'

by Duke of Earlsfield December 29, 2009

wank weasel

An ugly, foul smelling narcissist who prays on good natured individuals. These types are often bi-as-fuck and will fuck and suck anything and anyone to make themselves feel better about their sad existence.
They have no real friends because everything they do or say is usually a lie.
Wank Weasels usually die alone.
Often termed as a Sweaty Nonce by some.

Person 1: Wank Weasel just employed another young girl.
Person 2: Damn! Another one?! He’s just a Wank Weasel.

by TheMexicanMashbanana December 17, 2022

Grattan wank

Masturbating to the lingerie pages of a clothing catalogue, as you did when you were 13 and couldn't get hold of proper filth.

Also handy for when you want a change of pace from mind-blowing internet-based grot.

(The Grattan catalogue was popular in the Uk about 15 years ago, and had a huge ladies underwear section.)

"Dude, I went old school and had a badass Grattan wank last night"

by Ohfoshizzo November 2, 2009

wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry

"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"

by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009