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spam/telemarketer defense

Refers to a person's using the well-known prevalence of widespread fake/mass-advertising correspondence as an excuse for his not obeying/acknowledging a 100%-legitimate-but-unwelcome message he has received, such as a hefty bill, restraining order, or other upsetting/disappointing directive that he does not wish to comply with ("Well, it made no sense to me, so I honestly believed it was just a fake message, and simply shrugged it off"). The effectiveness and/or defense-worthiness of said practice --- and your chances of being let off the hook as a result --- can sometimes be further bolstered by "pre-innocentizing" yourself (such as frequently showing up in court for no reason and claiming every time that you'd received an order to appear, and then finally --- after being irritably told for the umpteenth time by the court-clerk that they'd never sent you a summons --- declaring in a frustrated huff, "Fine... well, I guess somebody's been playing sick jokes on me, so from now on I'm just gonna simply IGNORE any and all such notices I receive!") sometime before committing whatever infractions would likely result in said unwelcome orders, so that you can appear justified in your non-compliance with what you supposedly thought was yet another fake order.
I successfully used the spam/telemarketer defense when asked why I hadn't answered a court-summons; I just said, "Oh, that notice was REAL? Oh my --- well, I'd honestly believed it was a fake message... since I've had so many pushy telemarketers and con-men harass me --- sometimes even falsely claiming to be tax-auditors or law-enforcement personnel --- that I'd long ago adopted an 'ignore any and all such notices as fake' policy."
by QuacksO August 9, 2018
mugGet the spam/telemarketer defensemug.

the Hunter Defense

As zainy of a legal defense as Bird Law, the Hunter Defense is when you know the outcome, but refuse to acknowledge it, because it did not go in your own favor.
Garrett used the Hunter Defense when questioned about losing a foot race to a slow white guy, so he could avoid lifelong embarrassment.
by Matthew2131 February 23, 2024
mugGet the the Hunter Defensemug.

Self Defense

When a white person attacks you unprovoked
"The other day Jonathan caught me with his girl and he tried to self defense me!"
by SmeeveJeeve April 22, 2025
mugGet the Self Defensemug.

defensive

The gaslighter's bread and butter. The word you will most likely hear from them if you do anything other than acknowledge and accept their bullshit in some lame attempt to guilt trip you into doing it.
Gaslighter: *throws bullshit at victim*
Victim: *angrily reprimands gaslighter for it*
Gaslighter: "See, you're being defensive, stop it"
by Someone32143214 July 7, 2022
mugGet the defensivemug.

Self Defense

When someone tries to beat you up so you beat them up to stop them from beating you up.
Person 1 used self defense when Person 2 tried to chase him and grab his weapon. Person 2 seemed to have intent of harming Person 1.
by Based Cow November 18, 2021
mugGet the Self Defensemug.

preemptive defensiveness

1) When an ultra “woke” liberal is so full of shit, they call out there own BS before you can.

2) A liberal that can read your thoughts, ESP, and scolds you for something you’re, supposedly, about to say or accuse them of.

3) A liberal who obstructs your ability to refute him/her/they/them/we/it/blaugh/
hugh?/whatever. They reference an attack on their position or themselves, before you do.
1) It: “Gender fluid” is a real term. I know because I heard it on The View. And, don’t mansplain to me that it’s not a real thing! Me: I’m teaching a biology class. Sit your nappy ass down, knock off the preemptive defensiveness, and learn something of real value, besides nonsensical feminazi terms.

2) It: Were you just about to “mansplain” how to fix my computer? Me: Um? You, sorry them, called the I.T. department because your computer wasn’t plugged into the wall. Stop your preemptive defensiveness and learn something the rest of the world already knows.

3) She: The male patriarchy is responsible for these tyrannical men hiring scantly dressed women at this facility. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about contracts, free will, customer requests, or that most of the employees are female! Men like you are the reason we, women, don’t make enough money to be liberated from the shackles of oppression! All men are controlling pigs, and you’re a disgusting, intolerant, misogynist. Me: No need for preemptive defensiveness Ms. Swift. These are the dancers you hired for your new music video. She: Oh. Well send them backstage and get me some coffee, peasant!
by Nick Harbeston April 17, 2020
mugGet the preemptive defensivenessmug.

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