Jumped the taint

To be unexpectedly surprised, even horrified; to transition quickly from pleasure to disgust.

Jody jumped the taint when she discovered her boyfriend was really her cousin.

by Tbeauie March 2, 2012

Taint salad

The gusset of your underwear. The part that goes up the middle of your crotch.

Man, my chub rub has my taint salad so sweaty.

by Tunnel twins August 19, 2023

Taint Shelf

The tiny, almost useless, passenger accommodation on most modern sportsbikes. Often referred to as a “pillion”, this small, hard cushion has the effect of bludgeoning the area between the passenger’s genitals and anus throughout the ride. Because of its height relative to the driver and generally awkward seating position, these seats have a reputation for deterring passengers from wanting to ride along. These seats are a characteristic of the split tail style of motorcycles, opposed to the conventional “banana” seat (single piece) design. The prevalence of this pragmatically useless design can be attributed to the greatly improved aesthetics and improved control of the motorcycle while in full tuck, as the driver can scoot back into the shelf to secure themselves from sliding further rearward.

“Dude, do you remember having to ride bitch on my Zx10r?”
“Yeah bra, my ass still huts from that retarded taint shelf…”

by Thirdgengearhead May 12, 2015

Taint Splitter

When you drop a turd that’s so hard, so long and so girthy you feel like your taint is being slowly split in half as the behemoth passes.

From the moans coming from the stall next to mine, I’m pretty that guy was forcing out a taint splitter.

Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?

I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.

by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018

taint dial

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint

Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."

butt dial
pocket dial

by luvitwenucallmebigpasta July 17, 2012

tainted berserker

A relative of the dingleberry, the tainted berserker is a fierce fleck of fecal matter that has invaded upon the grundle region (tainted) as a result of a particularly violent, berserker-style bowel movement.

Strauss invoked the power of Odin upon the porcelain throne of Assgard, thus requiring copious amounts of toilet paper to ensure that no tainted berserkers were creeping up on his family jewels.

by Caible October 10, 2013

taint tingler

When you wipe your ass and the toilet paper stacks up so high that it tickles your ass and balls when you flush

That shit I just took was a taint tingler

by johnnydigher April 7, 2015