absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting

Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.

by YoyoMaFam July 26, 2022

Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.

"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."

by Robbie Carton Comedian July 28, 2022

Absolute Bombo

An extremely unpleasant situation that calls for an immediate resolution

The test we wrote yesterday was absolute bombo or it was A.B

by Awisi Pussy June 13, 2022

ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.

That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.

by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022

absolute balls

Absolute Balls is a term used to describe hatred. Hate is a strong word, so use Absolute Balls instead! Your peers will get a great chuckle out of this one, chief.

"bro, the game you suggested me was absolute balls."

"What the fuck kyle. Just say you hate it."

"No, hate is a strong word."

by treesoda August 24, 2022

Absolute Gibberish

Text That Has No Meaning Behind It

Hpdiwej pofkew pofkeppiodo kxEf erferfker pogk oerikdLfwoefo e wifjoew ijPedfe wfe fefefe fMhjklkjhgvfbhjiuyh gvbh njuhygbhnjEfjeifh eiufjoefoie joigfjoej gloejr
Absolute Gibberish

by fwefff September 11, 2022

Absolute Perfection

Some bitch named Léa

You see that girl Léa? She’s absolute perfection <3

by milf_central September 12, 2022