Skip to main content

beard horizon

The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.

A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.
This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.

Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.
by lordjupiter December 9, 2012
mugGet the beard horizon mug.

Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.
‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.
by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021
mugGet the Jizz Beard mug.

Beard Kisser

A derogatory term for someone who likes to kiss bearded men or just men in general. Can be referring to a homosexual or anyone who prefers bearded men.
Jim - "Hey i saw John making out with a dude last night."

Jeff - "What!?! I didnt know he was a Beard kisser!"
by Gimli Smith October 22, 2012
mugGet the Beard Kisser mug.

zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017
mugGet the zombie-beard mug.

Bearded Nelson

Someone who attempts to grow facial hair while being physically unable to grow a complete, bushy bear-like beard, and instead sports what is best descirbed as 'peach fuzz'.
This person is usually fairly young, and should probably wait a few years before tying to sport facial hair again.

This look us often paired with a mullet.
Friend 1: Hey look at that guy over there, he can't even grow a proper beard like a real man.
Friend 2: Yeah that is a proper bearded Nelson, mate.
by Hankorus, King of the Beards November 27, 2012
mugGet the Bearded Nelson mug.

Dragon-Beard

A sad, wilted foreskin, caused by having too little of your foreskin removed at birth, resembling that of a dragons beard depicted in ancient Japanese paintings.
Dude, how long has it been since you've scrubbed that dick jacket? That dragon-beard's so stanky i can smell it from the kitchen.
by TheRealFrankieMuniz December 24, 2016
mugGet the Dragon-Beard mug.

Mask Beard

Like hat hair, mask beard is the state a medium to large beard gets into when shaped by a tight or poorly fitting mask.
Bro that mask beard has ruined your carefully rugged exterior, and you now look like a poorly trimmed hedge
by Moist Barbarian July 13, 2020
mugGet the Mask Beard mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email