"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"
While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.
by QuacksO May 14, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance mug.A Big Dan's Tavern Customer is the kinda guy who will cheer on a gang rape & give high fives to each other during like the 1987 movie The Accused with Jodie Foster. Probably knows Brock Turner.
Steve & Ted are total Big Dan's Tavern Customers they tried to Cosby some chick at the bar last week.
by Paul from the Wonder Years. January 23, 2021
Get the Big Dan's Tavern Customer mug.Advice to CEOs everywhere: Most of da folks who call your service-center will need to verbally inquire/protest about their matter of business --- i.e., their question or issue is not something dat they can resolve themselves by merely using your automated phone system --- and so why not offer them DAT option FIRST, rather than making them suffer through a whole tedious-and-useless-to-them menu-litany before their exasperated ears eventually hear da welcome words, "To speak with a customer service representative, press 9"?! Why subject their distressed/confused/hurried selves to those other eight "press one for this, press two for this" possibilities which they very seldom could use, anyway?!
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?
by QuacksO May 20, 2023
Get the To speak with a customer service representative, press 9 mug.by A hard worker July 14, 2023
Get the White Boy Customs mug."Olive Garden customer" is a slang term for "a person who has excessive screen time every day". Used in a similar way to the term "iPad kid", this slang term is named after a meme where someone has far more screen time on the Olive Garden app compared to any other app on his phone.
Ever since he discovered that Olive Garden app, he's turned into quite the Olive Garden customer — more screen time there than anywhere else!
by Emotional Cruiser February 10, 2026
Get the Olive Garden customer mug.Immigration and Customs Enforcement just caught my neighbor who has a wife and two young disabled children just because he has issues with an orange turd in office. He plans on getting deported to a prison in El Salvador that host violent gang members even though he has never committed a crime.
by DMJohnson April 8, 2025
Get the Immigration and Customs Enforcement mug.Immigration and Customs Enforcement just caught my neighbor who has a wife and two young disabled children just because he has issues with an orange turd in office. He plans on getting deported to a prison in El Salvador that host violent gang members even though he has never committed a crime.
by DMJohnson April 8, 2025
Get the Immigration and Customs Enforcement mug.