Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 25, 2017

isak, the absolute chair man

A man who owns a server who normaly makes his staff suffer with jobs that are way too hard

please save them

"this isak, the absolute chair man man i like"
"yea me too"

by manMansan March 2, 2022

Ivan (absolute lad)

Guy with the biggest cock
Usually grows around 75 yards(68.58 meters)

Girl: Ivan (absolute lad) has the biggest cock
Girl's Best Friend: I can see, he's such a great guy.

by Inoco November 21, 2021

the absolute mother fucking greatest

The absolute mother fucking greatest!!

See Madeline over there? She’s the absolute mother fucking greatest. I wish I could be like her

by Stegosaurusrexx November 24, 2021

absolutely wanked

A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.

"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"

by FuckinBlazeItM8 October 29, 2015

Absolute unit

When referring to something or someone who is incredibly talented or impressive.

She put on a clinic; what an absolute unit.

by Mr. Hugh March 5, 2024

Absolute Mucus

The weird temperature at which your mucus freezes in your nose and feels weird.

Yeah dude it was so cold this morning that I think it would hit about absolute mucus. It was very uncomfortable.

Student: What is the exact temperature of Absolute mucus
Teacher: It varies depending on many factors including but not limited to, the amount of mucus in nose, size of nose, and amount of hair in nose.

by TheGuyWhoDefinesThingsSOmetime August 25, 2018