by Wife haver123 January 14, 2022
While your baby mama is in the final stages of childbirth, insist she give you a BJ at the same time.
If you can match blast off time with your kid being born...you, fine sir, are a LEGEND.
Baby mama gave me a gurgle birth while having my kid
If you can match blast off time with your kid being born...you, fine sir, are a LEGEND.
Baby mama gave me a gurgle birth while having my kid
by FarkMeRunning June 30, 2019
These are any pair of pants that will cause potential mates to not want to have sex with the wearer. A typical example would be a tight pair of jeans that have some sort of weird design on them and are worn by a straight male. However, there is not just one style or brand of pants that are birth control pants, and the exact definition can vary across cultures and time periods.
Katie: “I was attracted to Johnny until I saw him wearing those weird skinny jeans.”
Jenny: “You mean his birth control pants?”
Mark: “I wear my birth control pants out to the bars just to be safe.”
Jenny: “You mean his birth control pants?”
Mark: “I wear my birth control pants out to the bars just to be safe.”
by Bushbrotherbrady June 9, 2021
When a girl only dates guys beneath her because the birth control she's on has her hormones so fucked up that she's attracted to the pheromones of weak, feminine men. These relationships typically end after the girl stops taking birth control as she discovers how naturally repulsed she is of her sissy bf after the fact.
Similar to "chocolate-covered raisin" relationships. You could put chocolate on anything — caramel, marshmallows, peanut butter, etc — putting it on a raisin is just insulting.
Similar to "chocolate-covered raisin" relationships. You could put chocolate on anything — caramel, marshmallows, peanut butter, etc — putting it on a raisin is just insulting.
"Why is she dating that guy? He must be really funny, have a lot of money or a big donkey dick."
"No he's a loser, it's a birth control relationship."
"No he's a loser, it's a birth control relationship."
by derp216 September 6, 2022
Times in your life where you observe someones child out of control, acting out irrationally, throwing a fit or otherwise making you wish you didn't have kids (or glad you don't have them)
Wow, sitting on that 12 hour flight with that baby crying nonstop was a birth control moment for me!
by Paul.x.james December 4, 2020
by gcsnelgar August 13, 2023
The act of ejaculating so many times after your baby is born that your sperm turns red and your baby is now the spawn of Satan
"Hey Johnny bear how was your sleep"
"I had no sleep I was in Post-Birth hemorrhoids"
"Lmao ratio+L"
"I had no sleep I was in Post-Birth hemorrhoids"
"Lmao ratio+L"
by Intellectual_illiteracy December 31, 2022