by The Smol And Short Jelly May 23, 2022
This is the act of reaching up and pinching the balloon knot of your partner and then applying pressure with your tongue and humming the Australian National Anthem in the key of D major while giving a short but stout tug on the left nipple with a pair of vise grips and then using the other hand you fire up the dremel with a preloaded cutting wheel and you carve your initials in the partner's asscheek just as you are about to blow your load on the back of their neck and forehead
by BentStiffy December 03, 2008
Imagine a game of soccer.
Now take the following steps to reduce the skill as much as possible;
1) Remove the crossbar, so the ball can be kicked 10 meters over the opponents heads and still be a goal.
2) Reward the players with 1/6th of a goal for missing the target.
3) Remove the offside rule, so the forwards literally just stand around in front of their oppositions' goal and wait for someone to kick the ball to them.
4) Allow players to use their hands to catch and punch the ball.
5) Carrying on from point 4), give a player a free kick every time they catch the ball.
6) Change the shape of the ball so that it can travel further when kicked. This will help reduce the amount of passing ( = teamwork) needed to get the ball from one end of the field to another.
7) Remove all strategy. Make supporters so dumb that they actually *complain* when teams employ basic tactics such as flooding the defence, holding up the ball to look for a decent pass and running the clock down while keeping possession at the end of a match.
Now add some silly and fairly arbitary rules such as;
1) It is against the rules to push a player in the back, but it is allowed to run in from behind him, jump up, stick your knees into his back and catch the ball.
2) If you tackle (= bear hug & throw to the ground) a player, you get a free kick. Unless the umpire decides the tackled player did not have a chance to get rid of the ball before/while he was being tackled, in that case the umpire will bounce the ball instead. Unless in the course of the tackle you pushed him in the back - in that case he gets the free kick. Understand?
There you go, that is Australian Rules Football.
Now take the following steps to reduce the skill as much as possible;
1) Remove the crossbar, so the ball can be kicked 10 meters over the opponents heads and still be a goal.
2) Reward the players with 1/6th of a goal for missing the target.
3) Remove the offside rule, so the forwards literally just stand around in front of their oppositions' goal and wait for someone to kick the ball to them.
4) Allow players to use their hands to catch and punch the ball.
5) Carrying on from point 4), give a player a free kick every time they catch the ball.
6) Change the shape of the ball so that it can travel further when kicked. This will help reduce the amount of passing ( = teamwork) needed to get the ball from one end of the field to another.
7) Remove all strategy. Make supporters so dumb that they actually *complain* when teams employ basic tactics such as flooding the defence, holding up the ball to look for a decent pass and running the clock down while keeping possession at the end of a match.
Now add some silly and fairly arbitary rules such as;
1) It is against the rules to push a player in the back, but it is allowed to run in from behind him, jump up, stick your knees into his back and catch the ball.
2) If you tackle (= bear hug & throw to the ground) a player, you get a free kick. Unless the umpire decides the tackled player did not have a chance to get rid of the ball before/while he was being tackled, in that case the umpire will bounce the ball instead. Unless in the course of the tackle you pushed him in the back - in that case he gets the free kick. Understand?
There you go, that is Australian Rules Football.
by Petszk October 17, 2005
australian rules football can be described as the most skilless and effiminate form of football. Supporters are Australian possessing an IQ well below the requirements for basic shoe lace tying. Supporters are easily brainwashed by the AFL into thinknig that the sport is the most skillfull and physically tough sports around. In reality it possesses none of the skills and fancy footwork used in football, none of the physical strength toughness and fast hands needed for both forms of rugby.
Game is best described as: a bunch of sweaty blokes humping each other to the ground to get a touch of the oppositions arse and balls.
Game is best described as: a bunch of sweaty blokes humping each other to the ground to get a touch of the oppositions arse and balls.
australian rules football= winter training for cricket
Tool: Bro lets watch a game of footy.
Real Auuseie: Fu.ck of back to melbourne you poof!
Tool: Bro lets watch a game of footy.
Real Auuseie: Fu.ck of back to melbourne you poof!
by muzza_#1 October 26, 2005
this is when you awaken your significant other by shoving your thumb in her ass, while yelling common Australian catch phrases. "G'day Mate!" and "I just shoved my shrimp in your Bar-B!" are the most common.
by georgelopez September 07, 2008
Letting an Australian Elephant insert its trunk into the recipients' rectum. The recipient then goes on to releases it's bowels, filling the Australian Elephants' trunk with fecal matter. The elephant then pulls its' trunk out of the recipients' anus and allows the man to insert his penis into the elephants' trunk
He didn't come to work all day because he said he stayed up all night getting an Australian Water Snout
by Crocodile cumdee August 13, 2009
a very poor uncompeditive excuse for a game where gay or very feminine excuses for men squeeze into tight shorts and gay little singlets .during game play they kick the ball and jump like girls to catch the ball and aim to get the ball between four posts. if the player misses the middle posts but gets the 2 outer posts they get points for missing the main points.this game is so popular it is played in australia and has no international games between countries only a silly cross between gaelic and gayfl football.unlike the much more enjoyable rugby league which has an international fan base countries that play league are as follows ,new zealand ,england,wales,scotland,ireland,tonga ,fiji, france, papua new guenea ,russia has a small comp the us is growing into a good comp.all of these nations might not be able to compete with australia new zealand great britan but they do play the game.gayfl is the worst game in the world equal only with soccer
GO THE MIGHTY RAIDERS
GO THE MIGHTY RAIDERS
real men play league girls, sooks, dickheads,gays play afl
son} dad i want to play rugby league all the gay boys at school play australian rules football
dad}thats ok mate i wouldnt subject my worst enemy to that queer afl game
son} dad i want to play rugby league all the gay boys at school play australian rules football
dad}thats ok mate i wouldnt subject my worst enemy to that queer afl game
by dazza1 July 02, 2006