by dmurex May 23, 2022

Heads up, there’s a Safety Douche coming to inspect us.
Based on the size of that Douche, we are all getting wrote up.
Based on the size of that Douche, we are all getting wrote up.
by Captain Safe-T June 16, 2022

A person who is incredibly annoying as a salesperson, clerk, or bartender. Someone who is a douche about how much they are charging for something.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Bar Patron: "Hi sir, why does this IPA only get a 12oz pour but the pale ale is 16oz?"
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
by kingofthedodge December 31, 2018

Taking his load of babies straight to the cervix and then leaking it all out while getting your daily dose of protien
by Frickenfina August 15, 2022

"hey dude want to play with my douche flute?"
or
"yo look at dose douche flute they so awesome, maybe we can play with one another's douche flute"
or
"yo look at dose douche flute they so awesome, maybe we can play with one another's douche flute"
by pissinonmyass July 8, 2019

Basically a douche bag but just being extra duffely. It means nothing so if you were wondering, why you see this on facebook, don't worry it just means douchebag but it sounds a little cooler. Also, if you're too much of a coward to call someone a douche (bag) to their face, you can just mutter under your breath a shortened version, "duffel bag.."
*Obnoxious guy throws a girl's paper from her desk onto the floor.*
Girl: your'e such a douche duffel bag
Guy: ...you did not just call me that.
Girl: u mad?
*Big bull pushes scrawny little freshman into a locker.*
kid: duffel bag
bully? WTF does that even mean?! stupid little freshman *walks away*
life= saved
Girl: your'e such a douche duffel bag
Guy: ...you did not just call me that.
Girl: u mad?
*Big bull pushes scrawny little freshman into a locker.*
kid: duffel bag
bully? WTF does that even mean?! stupid little freshman *walks away*
life= saved
by kjkmusic23 December 15, 2011

by shaolinwarrior February 10, 2010
