five monkeys

The Way Things Are Done:

Start with 5 monkeys locked in a cage.

Hang a banana from the roof on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

Before long the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana.

As soon as the first monkey touches the stairs, hose the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. All the other are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and goes to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
Example of "five monkeys" in action:

Why? / Why not?

-because that's the way things are done around here.
by Ramon NZ September 22, 2008
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Cave monkey

A racist term for white people. Dealing with how whites are from Neanderthals.
by Casscia646 September 05, 2017
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monkey rubber

A perverted sexual act, where the individual masturbates whilst watching animals shagging.

This can be done in a zoo
or whilst at home maybe watching porn off the animal variety.
number 1: "Did you hear about Dave?"

number 2: "Yeah i know turns out he's a monkey rubber."
by sir david attenborough the 2nd December 28, 2007
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jerkoff monkey

Someone who is constantly used by others. Basically a tool of the lowest form.
"Come here you jerkoff monkey, shine these shoes for me!"
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nigger monkey

a nigger who jumps from tree to tree, travels monkey-like in the city and/or jungle, woods.
Look at that nigger monkey run,
by reverendxblack December 31, 2008
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Monkey Nigger

A person of African American descent. Typically a boo boo nig nog.
Craig: damn spooks broke into my car

Tony: it was probably that monkey nigger Slim down the road
by break da law November 09, 2018
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smashed monkey

"What's in the sandwich?"

"Smashed monkey"

"Oh...."
by LarrySanders February 06, 2009
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