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Scottish Shower

The only way people take a shower in Scotland. It consists of using a whole can of deodorant (usually Lynx) and spraying it all over, even on the face and others around, essentially sharing a shower and intoxicating others in the room.
David sees that Steven is using a whole can of Lynx on himself yet again after 5 minutes.

David: "Steven I see you're taking a Scottish shower again, yeah."

Steven: "Shut up, you RO gipsy; you don't even know what a shower is."

“Illia: laughs in Ukrainian.

Marek's Polish accent: "Ah, yes, Scottish shower lynx, the stink."
by xxracth54xx February 6, 2025
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Scottish Helper

Standing across from another man facing each other with your penises side by side, and jerk both of them with one hand.
Brad: “Hey Alex, are you ready to have sex?”
Alex: “Only if we start with a Scottish Helper!”
by Jellyfish beans February 6, 2025
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Well he’s Scottish isn’t he

Something people usually say when someone’s being a stuck up little wanker usually someone Scottish / Scottish decent
“Why’s (insert name here )being a wanker”
“Well he’s Scottish isn’t he”
“Oh yeah fair enough
by Beau_the_smeg February 13, 2025
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The Scottish Wind Tunnel

Player 1 is playing actual bagpipes while a morbidly obese man is taking a shit with the consistency of pancake batter for reasons only the morbidly obese man knows for sure, into a box fan powered by a 3 phase motor, splattering the bagpiper? Pipeist? ... victim...In the face with the morbidly obese man's Bisquick batter crap. Player 2 is bag piping the morbidly obese mans armpit which is the source of a lot of BO. So player 2 vomits and even though he's not at the best angle he must try and vomit into the fan.
If you love the music of Korn, you will love playing The Scottish Wind Tunnel with your coworkers. It's like Mario and Luigi except Scottish instead of Italian.
by The Flying Scottsman July 12, 2024
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Scottish promise

An ancient custom of serving guests an offering of food with a portion removed.

The custom served dual purposes. Symbolically, it was meant to indicate that nothing would be offered which was not equal to the servers own.
Practically, it allowed for a taste test to gauge the quality of the ingredients and preparation.
Our host explained that the pie was missing a piece to show that the house tested the pie to confirm it was good enough for you, which is the Scottish promise.
by Juan Moore Beer July 16, 2024
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Scottish Suckdown

The 36 hour session following the chubby Irishman showing up to the pub with The Jug.
Shane and I are midway through a legendary Scottish Suckdown somewhere In the middle of South Ayrshire.
by Claret Kings July 20, 2024
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Scottish dip

When a man (consensually) punches a person in the face to make it blue, then ejaculates ropes diagonally across their face in a Braveheart fashion, then immediately "dips".
I felt true FREEDOOOMMMMMM, when he Scottish Dipped me.
by Bartdart July 24, 2024
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