non gay handjob

a contradictory statement most commonly used to express dominance over another male by implying the subservient individual must touch and stroke the dominant male's penis to climax with or without tickling and/or cupping of the testes.

handjobs are never actually given or that would no longer be implying homosexuality simply because by touching another man's penis you are indeed homosexual unless you're a doctor.

Dude A: "Will you give me a ride home in a bit?"

Dude B: "I will give you a ride home if you give me a non gay handjob on the way."

by anco bluzea November 20, 2010

Boss Lady Handjob

A "handjob", generally in the morning before she's fully awake, where a girl strokes a man's balls while he beats the yogurt cannon. 10% of the effort, 100% of the recognition.

Yeah, I was trying for some morning sex, but Lori was groggy from last night. She just gave me a Boss Lady Handjob and we went and got bagels.

by Cupcake Republiq June 17, 2016

Hong Kong Handjob

When yo girl shits on her hand and gives you a handjob. When you jizz you mix the shit and the jizz and put it in a sushi roll.

Stephanie gave me a Hong Kong Handjob last night. I have tetnis now but it was fucking amazing!

by Fatf*cknWalrus69 October 19, 2017

Handjob in (my) Neck

Introduced to by the world famous rapper Lil Mosey in his rap song "Go Stupid" getting a Handjob in one's neck referres to a prostitute that gives you a 50$ handjob. Proudly looking down, upon ejaculation she points your penis too high that it accidentally land in your mouth and thus (by swallowing) in the neck.

I thought I was gon' fuck, only paid fifty
Got a handjob in (my) neck, didn't stay with me

by Hellistrawberry May 28, 2022

Irish Handjob

When two men grasp each others penises and jerk each other off. (Similar to the Dutch Rudder)

With no girls around, Mark and Steve were forced to resort to an Irish Handjob

by 2___2 April 13, 2014

two million dollar handjob

When a woman uses her two breasts to give the most sensational handjob ever

Rick: My wife just gave me a two million dollar handjob

Dan:My wife and I tried anal! :D

Rick: Gross.

by BestPseudonym March 21, 2014

why are you giving me a handjob?

A means of expressing confusion or contempt.

Derived from any cookie-cutter porn situation in which a female character disguised as teacher/friend's hot mom/friend's hot sister/nurse/doctor "unexpectedly" gives the male character a handjob.

Fritz: Dude, I boned your mom last night. Ah yea.
Ben: Dude, Fritz, why are you giving me a handjob?

by Beefy McNasty January 8, 2008