Ivan (absolute lad)

Guy with the biggest cock
Usually grows around 75 yards(68.58 meters)
Girl: Ivan (absolute lad) has the biggest cock
Girl's Best Friend: I can see, he's such a great guy.
by Inoco November 21, 2021
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Absolute Gimp

Used by someone who listens to underground music against someone who has a poor taste in music, and is overly annoying on social media.
e.g. Dave - 'Did you see what he posted on facebook about loving Martin Garrix and not underground music'
Ross - 'Yeah what an absolute gimp mate'
by discobiscuit21 June 22, 2017
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absolute bananas

a moment when a person goes borderline insane and is overreacting and screaming and all that.
"dude, why is your room so messy?"
"i went absolute bananas when i saw my exam grade yesterday."
by sigmeow April 04, 2024
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absolute gamer

bruh moment. what an aboslute gamer
youre not an epic absolute gamer noob
by guy next to me is low iq September 19, 2019
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Absolute Garden Gnome

That one guy who eats all your food in your fridge with his pants off.
He wack, but he yo homie. you get mad at him but you get over it.
He comes out as gay but he's still your little horny elf.
he sends you dick pics but you still love him.
"You mother fucking absolute garden gnome i hate you come here and suck my dick"
by a3sw4ed5rftijkoplkijuhygtfrdfy October 23, 2020
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Absolutely Boner Worthy

A phrase to emphasize the worthiness of a thing to where it can give a male an erection
That mask of stuffed animals is truly...
Absolutely Boner Worthy.
by Atom500 January 09, 2020
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ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.
That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.
by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022
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