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Nuts Per Second

Otherwise known as NPS; Nut Per Second is a measurement used to describe a persons excitement or satisfaction level towards something happening.
Yo I just saw Mrs baker from across the street in her panties. When she took them off I was at 37 Nuts Per Second.
by Dakore December 24, 2017
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Cucumbers per second

Measurement of speed equal to kmh.

1 cucumber per second(cps) is about 28 cm per second. This is 100.000cm per hour. Which is equal to 1 kmh
Dude I was in such a hurry yesterday that I went 150 cucumbers per second on the highway !
by RedWolve September 18, 2019
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Ten Billion Humand Second Century

A unit describing how improbable a thing is, defined by Matt Parker. If a ten billion humans would do something every second, none stop for a century, it will happen 3.15×10^19. Based on that, you can be sure that if the probability of something is worse than a Ten Billion Humand Second Century, its not gonna happen.
"If i keep trying, i can eventually get a hollow knight speed run where every enemy give me essence, right?"
"Thats can't happen is Ten Billion Humand Second Century, thats not gonna happen. Unless you gonna use a mod to get some dream luck..."
by MazerT November 6, 2021
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second mom

A women in your life that represents the same characteristics as your real mother. Usually your best friends mom or an adult that you spend almost as much time with as your real mother and trust the same way. This person usually regards you the same way and accepts you as their second son/daughter. In some cases you visit this person so often there is usually an extra spot of your own at the dinner table.
Eric: "Hey bro, mind if I bring my new girlfriend over for dinner tonight?"

Ryan: "Sure dude, what for?"

Eric: "I was hoping my second mom could meet her and give me her blessings."

Ryan: "Right on, we will sit her next to you at the diner table."
by Nekikins October 30, 2013
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Two Second Dave

When a guy is receiving a hand job (usually a Light Bulb HJ) and he cums within roughly two seconds.
Man, I'm a Jewish girl named Steph, and I gave that guy a Light Bulb HJ last night, and he was definitely a Two Second Dave
by Luke R April 14, 2008
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second of all

Used as an adverb phrase, sometimes added after saying ‘‘first of all’’. Thus the words ‘‘of all’’ are sometimes added to ‘‘second’’ in colloquial oral speech although it is generally considered either improper or, at best, unnecessary to do so in terms of grammar and logic, especially considering that it should be enough to use ‘‘of all’’ only once, that is to say after ‘‘first’’, and no matter how many elements are supposed to be listed.

Adverb phrase used by way of emphasis, often to let someone know that one is not is a good mood, or has been offended by something.

One would be right in thinking that this adverb phrase is a way to make some particular matter sound more important than it actually is.

Probably widely used in the entire English-speaking world, definitely quite of common usage in English Canada.
Example (taken from a show that is generally considered quite stupid, namely ‘‘Love Court’’, on Much Music, in Canada):

Man on a blind date in a limousine, on camera, talking to the woman sitting next to him

‘‘I got really drunk and hooked up with a fat chick once.



One of the four judges in a different place, played by (female) humorist Dini Dimakos
- First of all, you weren’t that drunk; and second of all, I was just bloated.’’

Other example based on a context taken from real life:

Young woman talking to a friend of hers while waiting for a city bus
‘‘So I told her, ‘Hey, first of all, if bringing all those friggin’ goodies back home by six thirty in the evening yesterday really was so important, you should have said so right away. Second of all, you knew perfectly well that I was unable to do it anyway since I didn’t have the car then’.’’
by le_Franciseur July 28, 2011
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Second Wave

When you finish taking a shit and then you suddenly have to shit again.
I was on my way out the door when the Second Wave hit me.
by GuyNamedTy July 18, 2016
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