chuck norris

The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.

1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.

2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.

4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.

5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.

6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.

7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.

8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.

9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit

10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.

11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.

12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.

13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.

14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.

15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
by thedude1963 April 20, 2013
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dirty chuck norris

When u clip a close-pin to your nipple and make a man suck the close-pin
by polar dave June 04, 2011
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A list of twelve morals and guidelines writting by chuck Norris. This list is commonly used as a guide to the pupils of Chun Kuk Do, a Korean based martial art also created by Norris.
The code is as follows:
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person I meet.
4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family and acknowlege that no other success will compenstate for failure in the home.
5. I will work for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
6. If have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself I will have no time to criticise others.
8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the successes of others as I am about my own.
9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindness towards another person's viewpoint while still holding fast to what I know to be true and honest.
10. I will maintain respect for authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, my family and my friends.
12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.
Before recieving her purple belt, the young Chun Kuk Do student had to recite three lines from Chuck Norris's Code of Ethics.
by TheGammaGeek February 28, 2011
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better than chuck norris

Bruce Lee, Chuck norris was a pupil of his and has even admitted that if both of them were in their prime, Bruce Lee would win, there is no one to compare to bruce lee
bruce Lee vs. Chuck norris
it would probably end the same way it did in way of the dragon/return of the dragon chuck norris looking like he's going to win, chuck norris would then get cocky, then bruce would make a comeback, he then starts to kick chuck norris' butt, then he breaks his arm and leg and then he breaks chuck norris' neck, Hence, Bruce lee is better than chuck norris.
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Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick

1.The deadliest weapon in the world. 2. Chuck Norris' finishing move that can not only destroy his opponent(s) but also the fabric of space and time.

The Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick is why the dinosaurs went extinct.
by Damien VonDusk January 21, 2008
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Chuck Norris Vagina

A vagina that strongly resembles a large penis
Your mum has a Chuck Norris Vagina
by Pseudonym Person January 20, 2010
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is ga-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
by Chuck norris the god July 06, 2010
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