Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
Get the Douche Canoe mug.by Tiger Words January 14, 2017
Get the Douche Bags mug.Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with
(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
by Dalyena October 26, 2015
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Get the Douche mug.dou·ché
do͞oˈSHā/
exclamation: douché
(in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit to one's opponent, who happens to be a douche.
used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one's expense (who happens to be a douche) by another person.
do͞oˈSHā/
exclamation: douché
(in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit to one's opponent, who happens to be a douche.
used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one's expense (who happens to be a douche) by another person.
Walking to my car after work this evening. A group of 4 young dudes walks up to the crosswalk the same time I do. As we wait I hear them chatting among themselves. One turns to me and says "nice hair. Did ur mom fuck a smurf?". To which his buddies laugh. Without missing a beat I look at him, smile, and say "nice face. Did ur mom fuck a horse?" His buddies literally double over howling with laughter. "Douche'!!"
by ForgingGraphemes September 9, 2016
Get the Douche' mug.A bloated sausage chewing wine.o, whose generally a complete asshole, whose socially unacceptable and has no regard for other human beings. A dick, or shit for brains.
by larryu July 19, 2016
Get the douche nozzle mug.troy: rey have you douche plunge alexis?
rey: yeah, man and she queefed in my face.
troy: eww, that is nasty.
rey: yeah, man and she queefed in my face.
troy: eww, that is nasty.
by kennipat March 7, 2009
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