John

A guy who gives you no attention. Overweight and extremely obsessed with video games. Will probably turn gay and live in his parents basement for the rest of his life. Don't date john, he'll treat you like he doesn't know you.
I dated a john and will regret it for the rest of my life.
by magicflash April 26, 2016
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John

Irish God of Sarcasim- fabled to be the most sarcastic deity of any civilization. John could kill a an army of men with a sarcastic comment. Stories tell of John having such a horrid reputation for ruining lives with his sarcasm. That is why the common day toilet is also called a "john"..
Tim: Why is that person always sarcastic?
Bill: Oh they worship John.
by sharpiedeathray August 30, 2013
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John

A lax bro that never remembers or gets names right.
normally blonde with a high rank of flow.
John
by dogluvr412 January 01, 2012
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johns

slang term for pound of marijuana, or a very large amount of marijuana to be purchased, usually pronounced "jahns"
Grizzle: "Hey man, you still slingin'?"

Nizzle: "Hell yea man. But I'm still waitin' for john's, probably tonite I'll be good. But, it might be tomorrow. I'm not sure man."

Grizzle: (inside his head) ' Damn, It'll definetely be tomorrow.'

Grizzle: "Sweet man, hit me up when you get those johns!"
by Goudabaker July 09, 2005
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John

He is the biggest dick ever.he screws you over and breaks your heart . He is the biggest man white in the world
He is John
by _cheez_ December 09, 2016
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John

John is one of the WORST insults you could call anyone.

Most people don’t know what it means, which is perfect. It means you’re fat, extremely ugly, annoying, lonely and a dumbass bitch so go ahead and call those skskskskrunchie loving freaks a John and then say: “if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m a skskskirt my foot up your ass”
You’re welcome😂
Girl 1: that guy just called me a John... what does that mean
Girl 2:😱
by Carebear2007 November 04, 2019
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John

This person is the devil. He like small balls. He wouldnt mind if he could borrow some himself, considdering he doesn't have any. He likes to try and masturbate but fails because his dick is the size of a wall nut. or smaller. He could be on drugs but who knows only crackheads will tell if he is. He is socily awkward. He likes to talk about how big his dick is. but they dont really know because he doesnt want to embarrass himself in front of the ladies. He gets really jelouse. And will lose his temper if u piss him off. he has very little friends. He also doesn't have a life.
Little kid: "Mom" . " whats the definition of the devil?".

Mom: "John"
by John buttface April 24, 2018
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