John

A guy who gives you no attention. Overweight and extremely obsessed with video games. Will probably turn gay and live in his parents basement for the rest of his life. Don't date john, he'll treat you like he doesn't know you.

I dated a john and will regret it for the rest of my life.

by magicflash May 28, 2016

John

Irish God of Sarcasim- fabled to be the most sarcastic deity of any civilization. John could kill a an army of men with a sarcastic comment. Stories tell of John having such a horrid reputation for ruining lives with his sarcasm. That is why the common day toilet is also called a "john"..

Tim: Why is that person always sarcastic?
Bill: Oh they worship John.

by sharpiedeathray August 29, 2013

John

A lax bro that never remembers or gets names right.
normally blonde with a high rank of flow.

John

by dogluvr412 January 1, 2012

johns

slang term for pound of marijuana, or a very large amount of marijuana to be purchased, usually pronounced "jahns"

Grizzle: "Hey man, you still slingin'?"

Nizzle: "Hell yea man. But I'm still waitin' for john's, probably tonite I'll be good. But, it might be tomorrow. I'm not sure man."

Grizzle: (inside his head) ' Damn, It'll definetely be tomorrow.'

Grizzle: "Sweet man, hit me up when you get those johns!"

by Goudabaker July 26, 2005

John

A guy who finesses his way through life. Everyone wants a John because he was born to finesse and make the most money without trying. His finesse game is too strong for his rivals, so they tend to get very jealous. He's a guy with a big heart, but it takes someone special to bring out certain emotions and feelings. Overall he's a handful and a John doesn't take shit from nobody.

John loves to drink.....juice.

by A person with no name November 20, 2016

John

He is the biggest dick ever.he screws you over and breaks your heart . He is the biggest man white in the world

He is John

by _cheez_ December 8, 2016

John

John Is a cool,Goofy,Very nice guy that can get girls but doubts his self on pulling one so he just doesn’t really talk to them but when finally finds the right girl He treasures her
- Materialistic

- Gods gift

-Kind soul

I wish John talked to me so we could get to know each other better and maybe get together

by Ego-Funk November 18, 2018