closet candy

a closeted gay,lesbian, bi person who is a sexual partner of an openly gay, lesbian, bi person

Jim was out and proud, but he didn't have a real boyfriend. He would just have sex in the bathroom with some closet candy he met at the school.

Tom wasn't out yet, but he did manage to garner some sexual experience by being Jim's closet candy.

by chickenbiscuit3000 July 7, 2010

Closet Retard

Someone who feigns intelligence but in actuality is no more intelligent that an average retard

John: He used ironic wrong. I think he meant coincidental.

Lisa: Ya, he's a "closet retard".

by Bytesthedust January 3, 2018

Closet Ostrich

Closet Ostrich- an ostrich who lives in closets and wants money from you... even though you already paid the ostrich last Thursday. This term was coined by the band Fat Hands, and is from their song "Ostrich in My Closet".

"What happened to all the money you made last week?"
"I had to pay my Closet Ostrich again. He won't leave."

by treesofgreen October 29, 2017

walk-in closet

A closeted married man who hosts young men when his wife is out shopping

I went over to this guys house and he was a total walk-in closet. His wife came back with shopping bags right as we were finishing up.

by killfukmary October 10, 2014

closet kink

A shy yet kinky person that is ready to get bent over at moments notice.(but on the DL)

Damn Sammy is a real closet kink bro

by Gg the tree October 2, 2018

closet fuckboy

someone who looks like a gentleman but is actually a fuckboy

"that guy looks really nice"
"hes not he is really closet fuckboy"

by sophies sh*t November 27, 2016

closet bugger

To not disclose the fact that you are bugging out, or freaking out because of smoking the reefer.

Dude, he's probably bugging out on the inside and not telling us because he doesn't want to seem like a pussy. He's a closet bugger.

by joesbugginout November 25, 2010