church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.

Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!

by Slump Daddy October 17, 2018

church kink

someone who really wants to have sex or gets off on the idea of having sex in a church

bro i have such a church kink

by herbeveevebbe March 26, 2022

Old Church

An old church is a beautiful masterpiece of religious architecture and will stand out in any town or setting. Old Churches that are either made from wood or from stone are different from more modern churches simply because they feature a beautiful relaxing space with lots of nice colours. Lots of elegant churches like this can be found a lot in England, America, Australia and New Zealand. They look the best when they are in a country setting with surrounding trees and lakes.

I prefer "Old Churches" rather than modern churches

by BlackTie12 February 21, 2020

church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.

Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.

by PlasticCup December 5, 2022

Church friend

Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.

I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)

by Gamer34 April 17, 2022

The Church of Piss

The church in which those who sit around it are mesmerized and are turned in to a transcended form. It is stated that those who come to the church every Tuesday instead of eating tacos are rewarded with a cup of piss in there hand within a chalice. Those who receive it may drink from the chalice and they may see a blessed video of the legend himself known as sodahead 13.

"What are you doing today?"
"I'm going to the church and try and get some piss."
"Oh, the Church of Piss!"

by haha pee pee uh oh stinky poo September 30, 2019

church heat

Really hot inside...like in a church full of people hopping and praising the lord (and sweating).
Temperatures above 80 usually found in crouded places or where the thermostat may be controled by a church elder who needs to warm his chilled bones.

Man, it was so hot in that cafeteria, it was like they had the church heat going!

by Grabapail March 21, 2017