Church Grab

1) When someone makes a sexual advance on another person in a church or other place of worship. 2) A sexual rendezvous at a religious institution.

I gave Susan a church grab about half-way through service, when they asked everyone to greet their neighbors.

by Pteropus February 13, 2021

the church of goomy

A religious cult based around the fictional creature, Goomy from the "Pokemon" series of games.

The Holy Gooble Sliggo Goomy Goodra Pokemon The Church of Goomy

by RoboPup November 12, 2013

Church Niggah

A person who claims to be or is on the righteous path of life. No longer cool enough to hang with old friends. Makes bullshit excuses when asked to hang out but really cant go out cuz they're bound by a significant other.

Person 1: yo you hung out with john recently?
Person 2: nah man he turned into a straight church niggah.

by L8terH8er October 09, 2016

Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.

Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.

by screaminghallelujah6 June 13, 2011

church kink

someone who really wants to have sex or gets off on the idea of having sex in a church

bro i have such a church kink

by herbeveevebbe March 27, 2022

Church steepling

Like an Eiffel Tower but instead you hold hands and sing kumbaya.

“Yo dude, we were church steepling this girl the other night and we matched pitches during kumbaya”

by Phtbtmgrlz October 23, 2019

church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.

Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.

by PlasticCup December 05, 2022