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turd burglar

Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”

Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024
mugGet the turd burglarmug.

We've had Polish burglars

A term used to try and cover up the fact that you have wet yourself - usually under the influence of alcohol. It derives from the tendency of Eastern European thieves to urinate in the houses they break in to.
Carston: Dude, I hope you don't mind me stopping by. I was in your hood
DeAndre: It's trill man. I just sittin here drinking
Carlton: whoa dude what is that smell. It smells like piss. And are your pants wet?
DeAndre: oh, er, um. I think we've had Polish burglars.

That night Juan Carlos drank two litres of Tequila all by himself. About two thirds of the way through the second, he has Polish burglars.
by Trill_LV December 25, 2014
mugGet the We've had Polish burglarsmug.

breath burglar

Someone who is of no use whatsoever, resulting in the incidental theft of oxygen that might be useful to others.
"You're such a breath burglar!" exclaimed Andy, after discovering Matt had left the beer behind.
useless dead weight
by Reigun November 1, 2013
mugGet the breath burglarmug.

Turd Burglar

A person who buys, or tries to steal, something that is in a bad state of repair and thinks they will be able to sell it after a minor amount of shoddy work for much more money.
Man I can't tell you how many turd burglars from craiglist are blowing up my phone asking me if they think the car I am selling for parts can be rebuilt and made road worthy.
by K2xW July 17, 2021
mugGet the Turd Burglarmug.

turd burglar

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar
by eminemanemone December 13, 2018
mugGet the turd burglarmug.

Cat burglar

A professional thief that takes pet cats from your home

Wtf did you expect, a pussy snatcher?! That was already covered in a lot of other definitions for the word, and this is intended not to be nsfw! Get your mind outta the gutter kids!
Breaking news coming out of chicago tonight as we come on the air, a suspect is wanted in connection with a string of cat burglaries in the area. Police have not identified a suspect, they advised all cat owners to keep doors and windows locked at night and to avoid giving them catnip afterhours.
by YouCanCallMeViking January 23, 2024
mugGet the Cat burglarmug.

Heard Burglar

Someone who realizes the public knows they turd the bed and wants to deny and cover it up… with both sheets and lawyers hired from wish.
She showed just how poorly her acting was and even looked like she was straining on the stand after all the world discovered she is a Heard Burglar.
by LightFoe May 24, 2022
mugGet the Heard Burglarmug.

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