Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by November 18, 2021
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mini unit

an absolute machine of a person who looks like they never leave the gym. except they’re a mini version. very compact. usually around 5’1”.
Ah, shit. Here comes the mini unit.
by mini_unit September 30, 2019
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Fogle Unit

A unit of measurement that is designated to all things immeasurable by scientific means.
I gave Tom a 4 out of 5 fogle units on his personal skills.
by Jfogey July 19, 2020
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United Fan

A fan other the English soccer team Manchester United.

These fans are pretentious and full of themselves. Really dumbass fans that hate their own team.
Do you see the man over there? He is such a United Fan
by COYS14 December 29, 2019
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Orcas Unite

A popular chant among lemmings to identify each other in social settings.

A verbal secret handshake for those that enjoy spending massive amounts of money in games with the intent to humiliate the lemmings.

Also known as : killer whales, individuals who spend any amount of money to be number one.
Big spender 1: orcas unite
Lemming 1: orcas unite!
Lemming 2: that's funny, Orcas unite!
Lemming 3: what does it even mean. Orcas unite!!!
by Avoidthesheeple October 17, 2018
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sealed unit

The desired result of completely sealing something up.

Usually the result of the act of clothing oneself against the elements, commonly seen at UK festivals when festival-goers wear head-to-toe waterproof gear. It is often the case that a successfully sealed unit only occurs when an all-in-one waterproof suit has been used as the sealing agent.
Chrissy: I am definitely damp inside my waterproof jacket and trousers and it's not from trying to pee in a cup to save me going to the portaloos. My sealed unit is compromised.
Mark: I am a completely sealed unit in my all-in-one.
by Tee Elle See August 05, 2011
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Unit of Time

how one breaks up time when they're unemployed - usually 1 unit = 30 minutes
by Ellie from Philly July 26, 2008
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