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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
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stuffed unit

a person who is terminally ill or irreversibly injured in an accident.
"His cancer has spread to his brain, he's a stuffed unit"
"Shame about his accident, paralysed from the neck down, poor guy is a stuffed unit"
by Kraken December 22, 2017
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Prowler Unit

Officer 1: What is all this

Officer 2: A traffic stop from hell
Officer 2: A Prowler Unit pulls this guys over, finds a trunk fulled with hardware like you wouldn’t believe.
Officer 2: They lose it, bullets start flying and they snatch up the guns from one of the cops. Hit the high ground and make their stand.

Officer 1: And the officer?

Officer 2: Up there, still alive we think but who knows for how long. We’ll keep him busy if you can find a way up there.
by A yank January 29, 2022
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mini unit

an absolute machine of a person who looks like they never leave the gym. except they’re a mini version. very compact. usually around 5’1”.
Ah, shit. Here comes the mini unit.
by mini_unit September 29, 2019
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United Statesian

People who live on property owned by the United States of America’s people.
by Sleepy Creep July 1, 2022
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United Fan

A fan other the English soccer team Manchester United.

These fans are pretentious and full of themselves. Really dumbass fans that hate their own team.
Do you see the man over there? He is such a United Fan
by COYS14 December 29, 2019
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sororal unit

sister; a female family member who has the same parental lineage as the speaker or main entity in question.
"sororal unit #1 was pissed because the maternal unit lent the car to fraternal unit #3 for the entire weekend. (a common misspelling is "sororital")
by bluleggero August 29, 2009
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