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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
mugGet the Cranking Unitsmug.

Fogle Unit

A unit of measurement that is designated to all things immeasurable by scientific means.
I gave Tom a 4 out of 5 fogle units on his personal skills.
by Jfogey July 18, 2020
mugGet the Fogle Unitmug.

Unit of Time

how one breaks up time when they're unemployed - usually 1 unit = 30 minutes
Shaving my legs took up 1 unit of time
by Ellie from Philly August 22, 2008
mugGet the Unit of Timemug.

Prowler Unit

Officer 1: What is all this

Officer 2: A traffic stop from hell
Officer 2: A Prowler Unit pulls this guys over, finds a trunk fulled with hardware like you wouldn’t believe.
Officer 2: They lose it, bullets start flying and they snatch up the guns from one of the cops. Hit the high ground and make their stand.

Officer 1: And the officer?

Officer 2: Up there, still alive we think but who knows for how long. We’ll keep him busy if you can find a way up there.
by A yank January 29, 2022
mugGet the Prowler Unitmug.

United Nationer

A person who is raised in different countries all throughout his or her life.
I was born in Spain. But my ancestors are from England and France. I moved to Poland when I was 5 and when I was 13 I moved to America. That makes me a United Nationer!
by Kyukyujuu March 1, 2010
mugGet the United Nationermug.

Foul unit

A particularly distasteful, repulsive man. Normally used to describe an old, lecherous, pissed-minnda in a pub or club, hitting on young girls.
"Get away from me, you foul unit."
by HellsBelS August 21, 2006
mugGet the Foul unitmug.

United Fan

A fan other the English soccer team Manchester United.

These fans are pretentious and full of themselves. Really dumbass fans that hate their own team.
Do you see the man over there? He is such a United Fan
by COYS14 December 29, 2019
mugGet the United Fanmug.

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