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douche bag

A human being who commits an atrocity such as stealing someone's life work and calling it their own. These douche bags tend to laugh at others misfortunes, or even worse, create the others misfortunes. It is often that douche bags steal from others that are not well known, but brilliant minds, who end up dying alone and talking to a laser beam pigeon in the mean time.
Edison: Hey, ah, Tesla, you're pretty smart, right?

Tesla: Yeah, I guess.

Edison: I'll pay you the equivalency of 1 million dollars if you fix my fucked up DC generators and motors.

Tesla agrees and does all of the work

Tesla: Done

Edison: HAHAHA TESLA YOU DON'T AMERICAN HUMOR YOU FOREIGN FUCK.

Tesla: .... douche bag.
by nakedsarah May 8, 2013
mugGet the douche bagmug.

Douche drizzle

A word used to define someone worse than a douchebag, the contents that come out of the body after douching
by K&B2018 September 13, 2018
mugGet the Douche drizzlemug.

Douche canoe

An overboard term used to describe one who has only reached a standard level of douchyness. If one who has only reached the basic douche level is called a douche canoe, this person would consider it to be an insult. Upon being called a douche canoe, this person would likely become upset & act irrational. At this point, that person would have reached douche canoe standards & you will be justified in calling that person a douche canoe.
I.E. "i dumped my girlfriend because she was a real douche. After we broke up, she went all out "douche canoe."
by argonforrest October 22, 2014
mugGet the Douche canoemug.

Douche'

dou·ché
do͞oˈSHā/
exclamation: douché

(in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit to one's opponent, who happens to be a douche.
used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one's expense (who happens to be a douche) by another person.
Walking to my car after work this evening. A group of 4 young dudes walks up to the crosswalk the same time I do. As we wait I hear them chatting among themselves. One turns to me and says "nice hair. Did ur mom fuck a smurf?". To which his buddies laugh. Without missing a beat I look at him, smile, and say "nice face. Did ur mom fuck a horse?" His buddies literally double over howling with laughter. "Douche'!!"
by ForgingGraphemes September 9, 2016
mugGet the Douche'mug.

douche-spanked

when you get verbally abused by another adult for being a major douche
I ate at a restaurant the other night, the waiter pulled me aside and douche-spanked me for leaving a $1 tip
by tjdabomb August 29, 2011
mugGet the douche-spankedmug.

Douche

A small-minded, dim-witted person in need of guidance.
1. Hey Douche, are you able to get me to the hospital.
2. Isn't he such a Douche, he can't even locate a woman's vage.
by JacoX May 5, 2009
mugGet the Douchemug.

Douche bag

A douche bag is a man who has a very high, undeserved, self esteem and confidence. Typically, douche bags also have a high opinion of their personal apperance, whether it is deserved, or not. (Inspired by Family Guy).
1. A dumb woman says "I hope I can smooch a cute Douche Bag in this night club tonight". (Source: Occupation Double, reality tv show.)

2. A douche bag will never understand that he is a douche bag. Or he will interpret as a compliment.
by Bob Gratton 69 December 1, 2022
mugGet the Douche bagmug.

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