Dirty Pretzel

When you tie up a hooker with a yeast infection, squirt a whole bottle of yellow mustard in her vagina and then bang her with your sweaty, salty, post workout dick.

Person one: How was your trip to New York?
Person two: I had a dirty pretzel, New York style

by Megawreckindaddyhitler June 16, 2019

Pretzel

Pretzel-n.- A woman or man that is small in stature and overall body mass, with the naturally reoccurring gymnastic like flexibility to pick right up off the ground and condense into a maliable dough, during intercourse and hammer down. Usually lifted at as extreme as 180° bends by the 'pretzels' knee joints. Followed by wrapping their arms around their own legs. This allows for maximum hammer time.

Ex. Person 1: Hi, so nice to meet you. I absolutely love pretzels

Person 2: (in absolute speechless confusion) great?

Person 1: Pretzel fuck. A pretzel. You're a Pretzel.

Person 2: Jesus Christ.

Person 1: hey you're a pretzel
Person 2: I'm sorry I'm a what?

Person 1: I'd Pretzel fuck the shit out of you.
Person 2: my God you need Jesus.

by Travey James January 6, 2020

Pretzel Dog

Having sex with your partner's legs behind their head.

She is so flexible, she's able to do the pretzel dog with her man. {sex} {contortionism}

by SilverSheilds May 15, 2018

Purple Pretzel

When you try to flirt but remember she's married.

"Blue balls. idk about that but i do know Purple Pretzel."

by Saltee March 3, 2025

Pretzel goldfish

a male person with an STD

“Hey Stacy, you gonna hit that?” *points at a guy*

“Nah Rebecca, he’s a pretzel goldfish.”

by Your boiyiyiyiyiy December 19, 2017

Pretzel House Republic

The great not-so-democratic country producing the best convoluted lye-treated dough product ever seen to mankind.

Major political and military power in parts of germany.

Pretzels are not to be ingested.

The Pretzel House Republic took over the whole country of Austria.

North Korea is sympathizing with the Pretzel House Republic for their huge supply of weaponized Pretzels.

by Secretary fo alternative facts October 3, 2017

Pretzel

where two guys are butt to butt and they reach around to give each others handjobs

Hey bro, do you want to pretzel with me, I really need ot let go.

by WontResist June 4, 2015