Garbage Merchant

Any retailer that sells junk, knowingly defective products, has shitty or non-existent technical support, and just sells completely and utterly useless crap. Garbage Merchant products should be bought and thrown directly in the trash. If you purchase from a Garbage Merchant, consider that you have just made a donation to them and got next to nothing in return.
Some examples of Garbage Merchant sales items include: 1) Anything at a dollar store, 2) knick-knack shops, 3) most independently owned, used car dealerships.

Two shoppers at a dollar store:

Shopper One: "This place has a lot of cheap crap."
Shopper Two: "Yeah, it's basically a Garbage Merchant."

by Jordicolas November 16, 2020

Shorts Merchant

Shorts Merchant- Somebody who is addicted to wearing shorts 24/7, 365. There is probably 1-2 shorts merchants in your life. Symptoms include general knowledge, use of shorts EVERY DAY and high IQ. This is recognised as a disease and if you discover somebody who is a shorts merchant please report it to the authorities.

"Did Markiplier actually watch the bite of 87? Like real?" - Shorts Merchant

by YhYhSound December 18, 2021

Wind-up merchant

Dylan Evans

Don't answer any question from the wind-up merchant

by Shlag123 June 5, 2023

Stat Merchant

An NBA player who chases stats despite the good of the team.

Nikola Jokic is a stat merchant.

by inwegothisway March 14, 2025

Skull Merchant Treatment

The sacred and catastrophic art of obliterating something so thoroughly—so viciously—that not even the memory of its former shape survives.

"Skull Merchant Treatment" originates from a Dead by Daylight killer - The Skull Merchant - who received nerfs so severe that her power was widely considered mechanically unplayable and useless, broken in function and stripped of its original identity.

"Don't bother playing Mercy anymore, she got the full Skull Merchant Treatment."

by June905 June 2, 2025

noise merchant

A right-wing nut job who peddles conspiracy theories that are not based in fact, have little evidentiary support, and are targeted toward non-critical thinkers who are generally gullible.

Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh are not journalists but simply noise merchants.

by Big Grinder June 18, 2019

PCI Merchant

of or describing an MLB the Show player who uses zone hitting and plays the game by trying to just match the PCI to the ball every pitch instead of actually playing like a real baseball player might play.

Most Twitch streamers are PCI merchants.

by Soccersux July 27, 2022