reading festival

To quote the BBC website, 'For Carling, the Reading and Leeds Weekend festivals are "very, very simply a brand strategy to recruit young males". The company wants to attract 25 to 34-year-old men whose main interests are football, music, beer and women.' And mud.

A: You going to Reading Festival this weekend?
B: No, it costs £120 and will be very muddy.

by Alan Pardue September 21, 2005

Reading Rainbow

When your doing a chick in a dark room, and a car goes by and lights it up. You realize that the bitch is butt ugly and jump over the bed and book it.

Chris:"Dude, you know hot Jackie?"

Joe: "Yeah."

Chris: "I had to pull a reading rainbow on her, she's an ugly shit"

by Thartperson December 20, 2008

close reading

Reading a book in a state of exhaustion, resulting in ones face dropping steadily closer to the page.

I was at the library doing some close reading. Woke up and I had dissolved several verses of Keats in drool.

by Luke T September 29, 2007

Reading the Newspaper

Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.

Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!

Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!

Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..

by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008

I'm not reading that

A phrase used for when a piece of text disgusts you.

Person A: Hey, can you go on Urban Dictionary and look up Surprise Party?

Person B: *looks it up*

... I'm not reading that.

by ChameleonDragon December 21, 2019

Jessica Read

a full crackhead, and a total slut for feet pics. will post pictures of herself crying for her finsta, but is a softie on the inside. always looking fine, and has a killer booty. boys would die to be able to be on her private snapchat, but block her after they see the daily videos of her crying. very wholesome, but prone to seducing your dad. never showers, causing her to have a stanky coochie & ass. will tell you she loves you after 4 minutes of talking, than fuck your bestfriend afterwards. normally a short bitch who thinks QLD is amazing, but everyone knows she's wrong. known to be the football bike.

jason derulo: "damnnnn there's Jessica Read with the stanky coochie, Phat ass though."
Shawn mendez: "aye bruva."

by yeehawwwwthegoodshit May 7, 2019

read and check

Telling someone about themselves and letting them know their place.

Girl, Shonna tried to come at me for speaking my mind and so I had to read and check that bitch.

by mynameizphil December 29, 2016