insurance company

Evil multi-billion dollar corporations that earn a profit from your premiums, and then find any loophole they can so they can refuse to live up to their responsibility in order to save money.

An insurance company is really a legal form of fraud.

by [e-mail] April 8, 2008

Insurance Wank

Masturbating prior to having penetrative sex in the hope that this will prevent the male from experiencing premature ejaculation.

Howay, man. I hope you're not gonna shoot your load too quickly.
Dinnae worry, pet. I had an insurance wank in the toilet at Pizza Hut just before we left. Now get a load of this...

by Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead January 10, 2011

insurance defense

The chocolate factory (as in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) of the law profession, where desperate attorneys work for a pittance, like Oompa Loompas working for cacao beans. Except in Insurance Defense, the attorneys don't smile and sing happy songs.

I went to a ttt, and now I do insurance defense. In a sad and cruel twist of fate, I can't even afford the insurance rates of my own clients, so my teeth are rotting away, and the pinched nerve in my groin is making me incontinent.

by Sir Humps a Lot February 7, 2007

insurance cookie

a cookie you grab early in the morning before work or school because you know they will all be gone when you get home.

Fred: "John, come on! We're gonna be late for work!"
John: "Hold up, gotta grab me an insurance cookie."

by Arbag August 24, 2009

Insurance Cheat

To cheat on your partner preemptively, in order to not feel quite as bad when they inevitably turn out to be capable of the same.

I've just split up from the missus after she slept with my brother. But it's fine, I insurance cheated with her cousin at her best friends wedding when we first met. And I didn't use anything either.

by dinnum2010 January 4, 2010

Insurance Wipe

To prevent an unwanted incident after evacuating the log tunnel, you should always make sure to do one final wipe of your entire anal crevice and surrounding area to ensure that there is no more shit on your ass.

"I've been feeling really dodgy mate, so I did a couple extra insurance wipes just to be sure.."

by El chicken January 4, 2015

Insurance Shit

When you take a shit either A: so you don't have to later on while there is no time or B: are not sure if you have to fart or have to shit so you go do it on the toilet.

A: "Dude, I'm not sure my bowels will make it the entire road trip without me taking an insurance shit before we leave"

B: "Dude, I'm not sure if I have to fart or crap so I'd better go take an insurance shit just in case"

by Mikeunt October 22, 2010