theoretical heart wart

People used to believe warts could be cured by rubbing a potato on them and then burying the potato. They believed that as the potato rot, the wart disappeared too.

A THEORETICAL HEART WART refers to a person who induces great heart ache; the only cure for this suffering is to take your association with them and bury it.

-I put everything that reminded me of him in a box and put it out of sight because it's the only way to get over my theoretical heart wart.

-Paddy is such theoretical heart wart, he's like a leech

by Turkdeliandmallow November 8, 2013

Theoretically cute

When a chick looks good from far away or at a glance, but then the sad reality becomes clear that they are as ugly as the north-bound end of a south-bound horse when approached or when a better view is available. Also, cute in theory

Example 1
Dude: Bro, did you get a good look at that hottie that just passed us? I missed her.

Bro: Yeah dude, don't worry about it, shes only theoretically cute, nothin to worry about.

Example 2
Bro: Holy crap dude, you didn't tell me you had a sexy-ass neighbour!

Dude: Yeah cus she's just cute in theory

by Simian Infernus January 18, 2011

Theoretical Hero

A group of people who attempt to make sounds that resemble music.

Those guys think they are musicians, but they are just a bunch of Theoretical Hero's

by Theoretical Heroism May 20, 2010

theoretical virus

A Theoretical Virus is a fictional virus that is based on a real virus, but does not actually exist. They are used as a benchmark for viral preparedness. A good example of a theoretical virus is lyssa x, which is a relative of rabies. Web groups such as OZORT are geared toward preparing for worst case scenario viruses like these.

A Theoretical Virus can be just as dangerous as a real virus if you aren't prepared for it.

by Edward Stevens August 29, 2006

Theoretically fat

A way to get your siblings to leave you alone. It means that they arent really fat but you see them being that way. Or used as a really bad come-back when you absolutely have nothing else to say.

(Younger sister is bothering you)
Older sister: You are theoretically fat!
Younger sister: Haha thanks! (and leaves)

or
Person 1: Your ugly
Person 2: Your theoretically fat!
Person 1: Your mama's theoretically fat!
Person 2: No you didnt!

by pinkzebra1 June 18, 2011

theoretical virgin

Someone who has been asked or was going to have sex for their first time but one way or another didn't. Also refer to cock-blocked.

1. Me and Amy were gonna have sex for the first time, at her party but then the cops came and ruined my chance.

2. George: So did you finally get laid?

Frank: No, her parents walked in as we were about to

George: Damn that sucks.

Frank: Yeah, I'm stuck being a theoretical virgin.

by 1unluckyguy September 20, 2009

Theoretical Vegetarian

A phrase used when you would like to have a very high standard for yourself in theory, but in reality you're just a basic bitch and can't discipline yourself to self actualize.

I'm a theoretical vegetarian.

by WhereEaglesDare March 16, 2017