by SmartAss69GiggityGiggity April 28, 2016
by Doyoulikeanimefam? April 6, 2016
When you shit your stomach out on someone's face, then light them on fire to give their skin the leathery texture of Ted Cruz himself.
Yo, I was bouncin on my boys D last weekend and he asked me to do him like Ted Cruz, and he hasn't been the same since.
by AutismoTheThird September 24, 2017
Ted Cruz is the Scranton Strangler.
by noneofyobeemovieporn February 18, 2021
by MackMurphy May 10, 2016
A Republican Senator representing Texas who is socially conservative, libertarian on economics, a hawk on foreign policy and otherwise takes right-wing positions on issues such as global warming, gay marriage, etc. Has recently positioned himself to be the leader of the right-wing of an already conservative party by catering to more hardline conservatives by attacking the "old guard" in the party as well as and moderates (some call them "RINO's") and occasionally flirting with conspiracy theories (see quote below). As you may have noticed from other posters on this site he has succesfully marketed himself to the political right-wing and as a result alot of your more hardline conservatives want him to be the Republican presidential nominee in 2016. Alot of Democrats also want him to be the Republican presidential nominess in 2016, albeit for a completely different reason.
"It is at a minimum relevant to know if that $200,000 deposited in his bank account came directly from Saudi Arabia, came directly from North Korea." -Ted Cruz on Chuck Hagel, who himself is Republican
by AnotherPseudointellectual December 8, 2014
1.) A power-hungry dimwit who suffers under the smug delusion that becoming popular with a fringe movement loathed by the vast majority of Americans is going to land him in the Oval Office one day.
2.) Another way of saying the Dunning-Kruger effect. As in, "the Ted Cruz effect", whereby someone who is utterly incompetent is so profoundly detached from reality that they perceive themselves as being vastly more competent than they actually are, precisely because of how incompetent they are.
2.) Another way of saying the Dunning-Kruger effect. As in, "the Ted Cruz effect", whereby someone who is utterly incompetent is so profoundly detached from reality that they perceive themselves as being vastly more competent than they actually are, precisely because of how incompetent they are.
Ted Cruz: "Hi, I'm Ted Cruz! I'm running for president and I want to do away with Obamacare, the EPA, and basically all progress made over the last 60 years!"
Everyone else: "Wait... weren't you born in Canada?"
Ted Cruz: "Well... we'll let other people sort that out!"
Everyone else: "Uh... No, we won't. You're a Tea Tard dumbass who wants to become president, and you can't legally become president in any case. You will never, ever, sit in the Oval Office."
Ted Cruz: "Well I think that those Confederate flag-waving old white folks out there might say differently!"
Everyone else: "We're done here."
Everyone else: "Wait... weren't you born in Canada?"
Ted Cruz: "Well... we'll let other people sort that out!"
Everyone else: "Uh... No, we won't. You're a Tea Tard dumbass who wants to become president, and you can't legally become president in any case. You will never, ever, sit in the Oval Office."
Ted Cruz: "Well I think that those Confederate flag-waving old white folks out there might say differently!"
Everyone else: "We're done here."
by Could_be_anyone October 17, 2013