jalapeño dick

1. An extremely painful condition often caused by putting hands on penis (during urination, etc.) after chopping up raw jalapeño peppers (for fresh salsa, etc.)without using latex gloves. The condition is worsened by washing the area with warm soapy water.
2. An alleged method of torture used by the Mexican government while interrogating dissidents.

1. John missed the second half of the Super Bowl due to a bad case of jalapeño dick.
2. Juan is a survivor of jalapeño dick from the 1968 protests.

by salsero63 January 12, 2008

jalapeno blowjob

When a person, typically a female, prepares salsa containing jalapeno peppers subsequently performs felacio using their hand and the oil gets onto the penis. Thereby inducing a burning sensation on both the penis and the mouth of the blow-job giver.

My wife made a great salsa, but i got a jalapeno blowjob later that night and had to take a shower to make the burn stop.

by Drewski Laflair June 15, 2017

Jalapeño Bloodtrain

The act of stuffing as many jalapeños into a woman's vagina during her menstrual cycle.

The spices of the jalapeños help clot the blood and relieve bloating.

My cramping hurt so bad until I got jalapeño bloodtrained. My mom is great!

by BobDan May 1, 2014

jalapeno monkey

The art of entering a female from behind whilst dipping ones testicles or sack in a jar of Jalapeno's. This must be incorporated while the girl has Banana skins sellotaped to each armpit.

Fuck sake Frank, those banana's look savage in your pits, but man my sack is burnin with these cunting jalapenos! Help me out with a reach-around you lazy jew or else this Jalapeno Monkey will get messy!

by Twish September 16, 2007

jalapeno business

Can be used as a faster way to say "all up in your business" but is not recommend in public. Originated from the nosy pepper joke. However this joke is to be used as a last resort or used to stall somebody. Although one can sometimes get away with using this term regularly.

unfunny friend: What do you call a nosy pepper?
wise friend: ...jalapeno business
unfunny friend: ......danggg

hipster guy: do you think Stacy likes me?
hipster guy #2: yea, dude, she was jalapeno business yesterday
hipster guy: ..cant believe you just said that
or
hipster guy: oh alright, cool, thanks

by DefinitelyNotLawman April 24, 2011

Jalapenis

The horrific burning sensation that occurs if you forget to wash your hands after chopping jalapenos and then go to the bathroom and/or partake in a little self- or other-loving. May also be known as jalagina.

"I had too much corona while making tacos and had to take a piss. My jalapenis is killing me."

"Barry started giving me some loving in the kitchen. Little did I know that he had been chopping peppers. My jalagina is the worst."

by JMRY October 26, 2013

Jalapeno Bottle Cap

When you cut the top of a jalapeno pepper off, place it on the head of a guy's penis, smack it down and rub it in until it burns.

To get back at Jack for being an asshole, Jill blinded folded him like she was being kinky and instead performed a jalapeno bottle cap on his bitch ass.

by pepperpiper April 9, 2015